Thank you for your reply @mnahmnah . I did think this after I had sent it. I guess because there is so much to say, don’t know where to begin.
She wasn’t in DHs life for about five years and then very much in and out for severals, it’s only been the past few years she’s suddenly wanted contact every day 24/7 (will sulk if she doesn’t get an immediate reply this could be 4am). DH has told me A LOT of stories (not great ones about her) from his childhood and what I’ve witnessed over the years, so I guess I have always had this in the back of my mind and felt protective.
She has a huge issue with my family (always calling them names), only met them once, says I make it all about them, and it mostly is, as they have been there for everything the good, bad and very hard times. So every event we go to she kicks off or sulks or my husband has to lie.
Totally favours his sibling, too many examples to give on this one, (always has, the extremity of this is sad, and not just in terms of the thousands she gets spent on her throughout the year (age 36) and my family nothing really. It’s constant over the top, spoilt attention she gets and always has, at our daughters first daughters birthday his mum wanted us to turn it into a joint celebration for her getting a job, I said maybe we could celebrate another day, she said I was toxic and they were too upset to come and would celebrate separately.
Whenever I don’t reply to her messages instantly she will send screenshots to DH and make a fuss and then says p.s I’m not trying to cause trouble.
She’s only ever looked after our youngest once, not the older two and this was for about 45 minutes. She agreed to look after our daughter who was unwell so we could go to work and my parents were on holiday. On the morning she said she could only look after her for a little while as she had an appointment which I thought was a hospital… it was a nail appointment.
We booked a city break a few years back, and she said I was spiteful choosing there as she wanted to go and I (not we) should have invited her. She is extremely comfortable with money and always goes away and doesn’t work, so she could jet off there any time. This was made into a huge drama.
She doesn’t have any friends and has just left her I’ve lost count of what number job this was (always their fault) and just seems to bitter and resentful all the time.
She use to say thank god we didn’t have a daughter as they would turn out like me.
Never asks me questions, she only ever talks about the past and people I don’t know.
I have about a million more examples. But is the above just normal MIL stuff? And I just need to find a way to put on a brave face and take it on the chin. Sometimes I think it’s not so much her, it’s more my husband not seeing any of it and the way he deals or should I say doesn’t deal with it. But do I just need to accept that too. I just find it so hard, he’s such a good man and deserves more than what he gets.