I caught sight of myself in the changing room mirror and really can't understand why DP stays with me

[Blushingm]

It was just awful. I look awful.

All I think of now when DP kisses or cuddles me is all he is feeling is fat. Why on earth would he want that?

Are people looking at us and thinking 'what on earth is he doing?'

His ex used to reject him so is he with me as he thinks he can't do better (which I know he can)

I listened to a great podcast recently with a sex therapist (can’t recall her name - Aussie? Been around a while?) who has written a book about sex in middle age. She talked about how generally a woman who enjoys sex / feels confident and can let go is incredibly appealing to men. I try and remember this - no matter my size, if I’m carefree about my body that is enough.
i never think of DP’s body in the ‘changing room mirror’ way - and I hope / assume he doesn’t with me either. Be kind to yourself OP

@blueshoes the article stated that the journalists had been in department stores with various concessions, as well as high Street women's fashion stores.
The worst offending stores were the ones who had communal ( women only ) changing rooms.
I'm sure women of a certain age will know which ones I'm referring to.

Some mirrors and lighting are certainly less flattering, but for a store to do this as a deliberate policy would surely mean they sell less clothes. So why? (Plus communal changing rooms - shudder!) And sorry to derail, OP.

Because he loves you.
Love ignores looks and other rubbish. It’s when you love a person regardless of whether they are at their finest physically or not.
He sounds like a lovely bloke who adores you just as you are.

I would guess your personality, the way you click with each other, the laughs you have, the stuff you have in common and that you definitely don’t look as bad as you think xxxxx Looks are nothing in a bed either x

I agree but the issue is when the same men who says they love a confident woman, a sexual woman, a woman who gets totally naked for sex etc.. and then perve on others, wank over young women etc. Then wonder why we stop having sex and get undressed in private.

@NewspaperDoll I've always said this! Surely flattering mirrors would sell more clothes.

Because he loves and cherishes you.

All mirrors are awful. I avoid them.

Also I think shop changing rooms mirrors are especially bad. Makes you want to keep on trying to look good. Keep on buying. Just like the magazines, introducing flaws to you that you never knew you had.

So op, you do have a choice. Keep on feeling low about how you look, embrace it and think fuck it or keep on doing what you're doing and enjoy it.

But there's no point in dwelling on it.

Make sure you enjoy life.

He stays with you because he thinks you are gorgeous.

1. People are attracted to people, not just their bodies.

2. Fat bodies can be incredibly attractive.

Wtf? Why does that matter? 🙄

Because he loves you. And he can see past any perceived imperfections to YOU - and he loves you.

Yes it can, someone who's kind, thoughtful, funny,shows empathy those are qualities money can't buy or be fixed by.
Well done on weight loss hope othe pp comments help boost you up a bit.

I lost a friend to cancer this summer. For every person looking in a distorted changing room mirror in horrid florescent light, thinking that they are ugly, there is bound to be someone just wishing that they had a body that worked properly. I'm sure you look great in real life and your husband thinks you're sexy.

Why wouldn't he find you attractive? You might not find yourself attractive but obviously people like different things. You don't need to fancy yourself.

I will give you the life lesson given to me by my great aunt:

When you're the only naked woman in the room, you are the only woman in the world