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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need a rant, feeling very betrayed.

10 replies

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 10:40

Have been with my partner for 2 years, we see each other a lot, have been saving to get a place together. He works all week and I have my kids in the week so we spend weekends and some weekdays together. He had been acting very weird with his phone, snappy with me and rarely any sex for months but he kept saying he felt depressed etc. well I looked at his phone, he was seeing another woman for 4 months.

I read everything, seen everything. He kept lying saying they hadn’t met, slept together etc so I asked her and it was worse than I imagined. Once a week on a Thursday she would pick him up around the corner of his house, they made sex videos together and he even met her dad once. I feel so betrayed, I trusted him after a bad 7 year relationship and I feel like a fool. He slept with me quite a few times in those months (not like before though) so now I’ve got to have STDs tests (never even done one before)

he keeps crying, saying he’s made a huge mistake and he loves me and only wants me but I honestly can’t stand him anymore. How could he do it for months and still make plans, save money and book a holiday for us? I’m so confused and so angry. I have never slept around and I feel so disgusting. She told me that she has been sleeping with him and her kids dad and her ex and he’s probably been sleeping with other girls too.

I also remember him telling me things the past 4 months of a friend I never knew and it was all things she was saying/doing. He keeps texting, calling me etc but he’s completely ruined us. All little things we had together etc, the sex all of it means nothing now. I just needed a rant!

OP posts:
Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 10:49

I remember a couple months ago too he said that he had watched porn and I went in a mood, he then said that he was imagining doing those things to me etc so now I’m thinking he was looking at their videos and thinking he should do it to me 🤮

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Purplecatshopaholic · 27/09/2024 10:57

Ugh. I’m so sorry. I take it you have ended it. Move on with your head held high - you have seen him for who he is.

TipsyJoker · 27/09/2024 11:49

He didn’t make a mistake. He chose, repeatedly, to cheat on you, endanger your sexual health, to lie to you, to treat you like crap by snapping at you, to betray your trust, to gaslight you, to disrespect you and to jeopardise your relationship for an illicit sexual affair with some woman who’s sleeping with multiple people. He’s gross. He isn’t sorry for cheating, he's sorry he got caught. If he hadn’t gotten caught he’d still be doing it and lying right to your face. His tears are crocodile tears. Don’t believe a liar. If you live together, chuck him out and block him everywhere. Phone, social media, email. Everywhere. Do not let him back in your life. He’s vile.

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 12:04

Yes I’ve realised it was all a lie, the whole thing. He’s disgusting, I could never forgive him and I genuinely wish him the worst in life!

id not opened up so much to anyone, even in my 7 year relationship. I felt comfortable with my looks, my body. Everything, he made me feel so safe and it was all a huge lie. So hard to come to terms with.

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Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 12:07

Also she was completely different to me looks wise, I’m quite small, slim but curvy she is a quite a big girl (no hate!).

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TipsyJoker · 27/09/2024 12:33

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 12:07

Also she was completely different to me looks wise, I’m quite small, slim but curvy she is a quite a big girl (no hate!).

It doesn’t matter what she looks like. It’s not about looks. It’s about ease of access. Do could, so he did. It’s nothing to do with you in terms of how you look. If she looked the same as you, he’d have done it. He could, so he did. Do not let this affect your self worth. You are enough. He is the one who’s sick in the head. He’s NOT enough. He’s a pathetic loser who can’t even keep his d*ck under control. I know it’s tough but it’s better that you’ve found out and can get this scumbag out of you and your children’s lives.

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 12:47

I guess she was willing to do things I wouldn’t lol. But he should go be with that class of woman

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Everintroverte · 27/09/2024 12:56

It's awful and hurtful to have been treated like this and I really feel for you. Know it's nothing to do with you, who you are or what you look like. This is all about him and his inability to keep his knob in his pants. Better to find out now before buying a house than when you were living together.

Of course he's crying, he's fucked it all up and knows he has. He only has himself to blame.

TipsyJoker · 27/09/2024 13:16

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 12:47

I guess she was willing to do things I wouldn’t lol. But he should go be with that class of woman

Possibly but either way, he just wanted his cake and to eat it.

Hannap123 · 27/09/2024 13:34

i can’t even think straight right now, all I picture is them. I have a lot of hatred towards him now and I regret ever meeting him tbh.

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