How would you react to this

[Whowhstwhenwhyhow]

My mum and I get on..we can chat bla bla bla. But she seems to have a mean streak in her towards me. I'm not the most beautiful person in the world. I think I've blossomed in my 30s more so than my 20s..I get more attention now. Not loads. But I seem to get more compliments now and I'm single and I have a handful of men that will contact me to see if I'm interested. I'm quite a kind person. I work in a hospice and see alot of sadness. People like me when they meet me in that environment and I have met alot of people in the last year due to my job. Colleagues. Families etc. I get some kind comments on my pictures on fb and one of the comments last night from a colleague was "be proud of who you are" I know she wrote that because I've had a couple of heavier situations I've handled quite well. But as we are humans we still get affected and need to look after ourselves in this sort of work.

Anyway yesterday I had a day off and went for a coffee and cake and an autumn walk. Me and my friend were tired so as fun put a filter on..I rarely use them. It was just for fun. My mum who knows I needed a mental break messaged me "whys your face so fat on that photo"
She didn't even say anything nice about having a good day or nothing.

She then snubbed my new profile photo because of the comment on being proud of myself.

This has been the case since I was a teenager. I'm mid 30s now. She calls me a poser. She won't comment or be nice. She deleted photos of me at a family event because I was fat at the time apparently my legs looked huge. She accused me of wearing a dress because I loved myself once.

I put approx 6 photos of me a year. I'm not particularly a poser or vein.

She sits on fb being nice as pie to my cousins that are dolled up. Or my cousin who writes crazy stuff because she's got a good sense of humour. But again my personality is snubbed.

She also has a horrible habit of slagging of people who big their kids up on fb for being clever smart or beautiful.

I just don't get her issue.

What a horrible human being your mother is. I wouldn't dream of treating my children like that. As a mum you are meant to love and encourage your kids, give them confidence just to be themselves. Your mum clearly didn't get that memo....

I’m sorry but no parent should need to have it pointed out to them that saying why is your face so fat and making mean comments is inappropriate. Op it’s not about you it’s about her, she’s obviously unhappy and bitter , as others have said just block her.

Oh mine is the same. See a confident female, it’s always female, child and she will say “she’s got a lot off” meaning she’s full of herself/ confident. It’s just utter misogyny, see also telling my daughter that men make better teachers and boys are better at maths. Any peer reviewed evidence for that mother, no I thought not. Some people just shouldn’t have children.

OP, one nasty comment towards your 9 year old is one too much.

I wouldn't allow her around them.
Honestly you have absolutely no idea the damage that one nasty comment can do to a child.

My daughter knows a girl who is suffering from an eating disorder. Her parents are nice and doing all they can to support her.
Apparently the root of it comes down to her stupid grand aunt making a comment about her tummy in a dress and comparing her unfavourably to another relative when they were a child.

Thats all it has taken for her to start restrictive eating.
She is in therapy and is doing well, but it has been years of this upset and worry for her parents.

Some children might not take any notice of a comment like that, but if they do it can put them on a terrible path of self destruction.

OMG, your description made me think of Tony Soprano's mother, Livia. He had to have serious therapy to recover from her! You should watch it - maybe with your mom!