How did your OH look after you during pregnancy?

[Rach1893]

Hi MN

I’m just curious to see how some woman have been treated, did you get any special treatment etc?

My husband is genuinely very caring, thoughtful and loving all of the time, and he was even more so during pregnancy. He did absolutely everything he could to help me, rubbed my feet, rubbed my back, constantly refilled my water and juice, made sure I always had snacks nearby I could keep down, drove out in the middle of the night to find something I could eat during the worst of my sickness, never complained, shaved my legs (and everywhere else😂) once I couldn’t see past my bump anymore, ran my bath each night, and honestly so many other things I could list them for hours- he absolutely doted on me and still does now that I’m taking care of our 5 month old baby while he is at work all day. I know I am incredibly lucky! X

My dh couldn’t have been more helpful. I had hypermesis and then SPD a bit later on. Dh would tell me to relax and lay in bed when I was really ill. He would tell me don’t bother cleaning or cooking, and that he would do it when he got home.

He really spoiled me

My DH gets up with the other kids every morning so I can have a lie in.

He does all the nursery runs so I don’t have to lift the kids into the car seats now that I’m bigger.

He makes me cups of tea despite not drinking hot drinks himself.

He offers to get things I need to save me going up and down the stairs or into the other room (now 35 weeks).

He wasn't helpful in the least and was completely disinterested.
I got the nursery ready, laid carpet, bought and assembled furniture, etc. His Mum asked if we needed anything before the baby came and kindly offered to buy us a crib - he was shocked when I informed him that we already had one.
You'll not be surprised to learn that he became my 'ex' soon after my DD was born and 23 years on I don't regret a thing.

Hugely. I'd get tea and toast in bed when I was really nauseous and light headed, and found it easier to get something down me before having to start moving. Did the night time wake ups with no 1 when I was pregnant with no 2, really did anything I didn't feel up to doing.

My ex was utterly awful. I was just expected to get on with it even when suffering with awful morning sickness. When i was hospitalised with complications during two of my pregnancies he barely came to visit and when he did it was made aware of how inconvenient it was for him. He was awful during the births and afterwards barely came to the hospital! Didn't pick myself and DC 1 from hospital and i had to get a relative to do it. Did absolutely no night feeds and the bare minimum of help while i recovered from emergency c-sections! Im amazed at what i was prepared to put up with tbh! I absolutely wouldn't tolerate any of this now.

I don't remember my exh being particularly great. I was just expected to get on with things like normal. I remember once being struck down with an awful stomach bug whilst heavily pregnant and having a 2 year old to look after. Asked him to take just one day off work to take care of toddler, oh no he couldn't get out the door quick enough. Found any excuse to skip work any other time though.

Buggar all. Wouldn't even help me with shoes/tying laces at almost full term.

Why would I have had special treatment? It's not a disability nor am I a 'princess' it is something millions of people go through

He treated me like the grown up I am

I think there's a good chance my XH would have fussed over me when I was pregnant if I'd shown him that I expected to be fussed over (his mother had pretty much taken to her bed for her pregnancies, and when I had a first trimester miscarriage she told me it was my own fault for not resting), but I was very much of the mindset that pregnancy was a normal physiological process, women all over the world just got on with it, and I was going to be the poster girl for continuing to do everything as usual, only with a baby growing inside me. I'd have fought anyone who'd tried to stop me, especially as my pregnancies were very straightforward.

If I had my time over again I'd demand to be treated like a princess the minute the second line on the stick turned blue.

If I'd have needed anything I'm sure he would have done it but I was fine during both pregnancies and didn't need any looking after.

He did do some stuff but he didn't always do it with grace. He'd grumble.
But I'm someone who will just point blank insist on having my needs met.. and I guess it can be a bit demanding at points so I don't mind if he grumbles. I've also had 3 babies so he's been thru it 3 times with me..
But stuff like he'd put my shoes and socks on for me.. he cut my toenails when I couldn't reach anymore.. brought me random snacks I'd decided I wanted..
There's probably other stuff he did. But he didn't just do things off the top of his head. I made it clear what I wanted. I'm not having some man impregnate me then not help me through it. I'm not OK with that. I won't suffer in silence. You can call me a princess if you like but honestly I think it's the bare minimum. I pushed living beings out of my vaginal openings 3 times.. least he can do is tie my shoelaces and bring me some lucozade