Sibling and family want to visit at an inconvenient time

[StressedSib]

Hi, I have a dilemma which is stressing me out.

One of my siblings got in touch at short notice to say they and their family are visiting the area to attend another family member's event. This other family member has a history of toxic behaviour and, sure enough, on this occasion my kids and I have not been invited to the event though my siblings have. I am used to this and this divisive game playing does not bother me any more. However, my sibling, partner and their young child who have already arranged their stay in the area (not including me) find that they have a spare couple of days and a night before they return home and want to stay with me. This is at short notice, is mostly when I am supposed to be working and will partially overlap with a long-arranged weekend visit by a dear friend of mine.

I probably ought to be more chilled about this but I do not live in a mansion with a load of space and my sibling and family also tend to take over and leave the place a total mess, and will disrupt my work (there is no option for me to simply take leave at such short notice). I am already under considerable pressure to meet work deadlines and get the house ready for my friend staying.

But then...always good to see one's own flesh and blood, and I do not want to cause bad feeling.

Maybe I should suggest they stay elsewhere but we meet for an evening meal (early because of their young child) instead?

Any suggestions about how I deal with this will be gratefully received, and am I being totally unreasonable feeling so stressed about this? Thanks!

Hi sis/bro I'd love to catch up. I've got guests staying so there is no room here to stay unfortunately . Let me know where you are staying and I'll look up a family friendly restaurant nearby and book us in for a meal.

Something like the above?

Excellent idea. Sorts out all your issues OP

It's simple, it just doesn't work for you on this occasion, and that's ok. Express your regrets and if you really want to, say it would be lovely to see them another time.

What a shame they couldn't give more notice, but you are up to your eyes in work that week and also have an old friend staying you haven't seen for ages, so not this time - sorry! Maybe another time with more notice.

Stop over thinking this.
It doesn't suit.
They are asking, not demanding to come.
You're allowed to say no.
As others have said, "sorry am flat out that week so not going to work for me this time. Enjoy the event and catch up next time."

I’d just say ‘sorry I’m working then and with a friend for the weekend, but free to meet you for dinner on Thursday after 7pm. Let me know where you want to meet.’ I wouldn’t even give this second thought. You aren’t available except for dinner, that’s life.

Perfect. You already have plans and it’s just one of those things

This is perfect. You have plans OP. You’re saying sorry you can’t stay but you’re still going to make the effort to see them. If that’s not enough then sod them.

Say you can't put them up but offer to take them out for dinner if you can afford it (choose wisely )

Thanks everyone, this really helps and, yes, I'm afraid that I was overthinking. I've explained not possible to offer to let them stay (work and friend staying) but suggested supper somewhere.