A while ago I found out my husband was texting an ex from his teenage years. It was only when he was drunk and very flirtatious/romantic. They had planned a date and she had repeatedly asked if we have an open marriage. She lives in the country he was brought up in and he went there to visit family this summer.
Ages ago I spoke to Women’s AID about our relationship and they said he had narcissistic traits. I had never heard of this but he really fits the description right down to how his parents treated him.
Just before he went to visit his family abroad I said I knew about the messages and he would need to decide between us while he was away. I texted the woman and said I had seen their messages and that it was inappropriate.
I also texted two other local women he had picked up and was texting to say he was married. He was enraged by this and the effect on his reputation.
Since all this he has apologised for all the texting and chatting up other women. We are working on things. But he keeps losing his temper over small things and accusing me of things like being hostile.
I think it’s narcissistic rage as I must have triggered off feelings of shame as when he found out I knew about the ex he was planning a date with he was mortified. He told his family what had happened and they were upset with him.
It’s interesting that he is picking up on minor things and getting extremely angry - but the accusations he makes are more in line with how he is acting. Today he has called he hostile but I was just annoyed he had removed our child’s after school snack from her bag and given it to her for breakfast.
Does anyone have any advice on this situation?