Is this a CF?

[rugpulledoutyetagain]

I'm at an international conference where everyone in the same industry goes and fills up the hotels and roads of the city for five days and speaks/does deals. It's impossible to get anywhere in good time and quite stressful.

There is a woman in my industry who has been asking repeatedly for a meeting because she wants something from me. I like her but I do not need anything from her and it actually puts me out to do her the favour I know she is going to ask for.

As we were both in this same conference I finally agreed after her third or fourth request that we could meet at 4pm yesterday. Somehow the meeting was booked at her hotel which is 2 miles away from mine. I was stuck in traffic for about 30mins and messaged her to say that I was going to be late by 20mins due to traffic but that I was on my way. She replied that she had made another meeting for 4.30 (so had only given me 30mins in the first place) and that she was disappointed I was late and cannot see me.

This morning I've woken up to emails cc'd into our direct bosses saying I was a no-show. My boss doesn't care as she knows which way round the favour was wanted and this woman has just shot herself in the foot for getting anything. But I mean WTF. How does CF exist like this and how do people get away with it?

How is that being cheeky? I get it is annoying as she wanted something from you etc, but you misjudged the traffic and missed your meeting. None of that makes her cheeky per se. Inaccurate maybe, saying you were a no show when you emailed.

I mean if you know it's impossible to get anywhere in good time I would have assumed you'd set off well in advance to avoid the situation you ended up in! It wasn't "somehow" booked at her hotel, you must have agreed to the meeting location when you set up the meeting!

I wouldn't have let someone send 3/4 requests before begrudgingly agreeing to a meeting - at request number 1 I'd have probably messaged saying I appreciated they wanted to liaise on something but that my schedule was packed at the conference - however a video call when home would fit into my diary well and I looked forward to speaking to them.

That's part of building relationships in industry, sometimes you do people a favour - sometimes they do you a favour!

If you didn’t want to do what she wanted or even really want the meeting because you knew how busy the roads would get, why didn’t you make the meeting to your convenience?!

You were being unreasonable to be running 20 minutes late when you knew what kind of delays and disruptions were likely to take place due to the conference. But she is a total idiot to have cc'ed in your bosses to complain about you being a "no show". Look on the bright side - you no longer have to fret over listening to her requests for a favour anymore.

CF???

It's 100% batshit of her to email your boss and call you a no-show when you notified her of your potential lateness and you were doing her a favour in the first place. Talk about burning bridges.

Feel free to feel aggrieved.

She wants a favour for you now, but what happens when you or someone else from your company want a favour from her or her company next time? Frankly, I think you acted unprofessionally. If someone wants to meet with you in a professional context, you arrange the meeting when they first ask and if at the meeting they ask you for something you can't or don't want to do, you politely decline. You don't stuff them around by making them ask 4 times before agreeing to meet, then show up so late it's not worth holding the meeting. All the more so if you know that you are going to disappoint them by not doing the favour they are hoping for - that's a reason to be more courteous and professional, not less.

You should have either made the meeting in time or declined the meeting. She's not a CF.

Yea, I've no idea what CF means either. However, you sound quite passive with the meeting arrangements. If you knew it was you doing her the favour, why not tell her to come to your hotel? If she can't, it's then her loss.

Dear X,

To clarify for the benefit of <boss name> I did make you aware that I was delayed in heavy traffic and was running approx. 20 minutes late. You advised that as you only had 30 minutes in which to see me, that you would need to proceed to your next appointment, therefore our meeting did not go ahead by mutual agreement.

Regards,
OP

CF = cheeky fucker.

Presumably if there is not and never will be any benefit to your business if this meeting didn't happen then your bosses wont mind that you didn't make it so it's all a bit of a non event ?

It’s not cf, but it’s unprofessional of her to contact your boss to say you were a no show when you were delayed, bit childish to do that when you messaged her to say you were delayed, particularly when you were going to be doing her a favour! Now you can just ignore her request. Silly of her.

Zoom?

This is why they invented zoom

You mismanaged time and have broken down networking bridges now

There may be a time you need her and she won't be willing to see you as you have been rude to her in the past

That is not how businesses work

You are right, OP. Only an idiot would
drop you in it with your boss whilst still expecting a favour. No soft skills whatsoever!

She was looking for a favour from you and yet expected you to put yourself out and travel to her on your own time? She then tried to land you in it with your manager. I think you dodged a bullet there.

Would’ve been easier to do it on Teams or another video call. Are you sure you just didn’t want to go?!