Affair

[Charstar1234]

is my partner reminiscing his affair partner?
he cheated on me few years ago, but then blocks her then unblocks her every so often.. don’t ask me how I know that but yeah

If he’s unblocking her on and off then yes, he’s at least reminiscing and possibly thinking of contacting her or hoping she contacts him. I can’t really see any other reason why he’d do that.

Sounds like it, yeah. Did you go through counselling or talk about why he had the affair?

This is not good. IMHO true remorse is having no real feelings about the AP at all. No energy spent on them. Nothing. They should be completely ‘meh’ to the cheat.

What work have you done since the affair? Sounds as though he hasn’t even remotely worked on making you feel safe.

He clearly wants to keep the affair door open. Shady AF and not worth your forgiveness.

This sounds really suspicious - I agree with Specso above. Was it a short lived thing? Or was it for years (my ex had a four year affair, they parted ways a couple of years ago but I know - don’t ask me how - that he was in contact with until earlier this year, still spouting his usual rubbish and tell her they’d get married). Meh - maybe they will now. Bit difficult though considering he’s brassic following our divorce. He was making moves on me until the point I told him to leave.

Some men want everything (a wife at home doing the cleaning and the secret saucy trysts). They will find ways and reasons to stay in contact. She may have blocked him and moved on but if your partner is still in the blocking/unblocking phase it sounds like he has a long way to go until he’s completely over it.

Leave him.

Sounds like he's not over her. Did you find out and insist he cuts contact with her for reconciliation to be possible?