I have been thinking lately about my relationship with my mother in law. She is a lovely lady and we get on well. She is kind and considerate and loves my children very much, however.. she makes almost zero effort to see us.
Me and my husband will visit her probably every couple of months and this is because we have said please can we come and visit. If we didn't do this I genuinely don't know how long it would be between seeing her. She lives about 20 minutes away from us so not far at all. Before I had my 3rd baby I would try and meet her for coffee or invite her round and although it was nice it felt a bit forced.
As well as this, the only messages we exchange are for birthdays. We do see her at Christmas as the whole family gets together. She doesn't have any friends and works long hours for the nhs.
That said, although she is kind to me, she has said things in the past to my husband about her not thinking I'm the right woman for him etc or that he needs a woman who is tougher. It was upsetting but he told me it didn't matter to him and that it wasn't in a malicious way. In the end I let it go and stopped thinking about it but lately I've been wondering whether I should try and make more of an effort.
We have 4 kids together the youngest only being 11 months old and I am about to go back to work so I don't have much free time and I have struggled since having my 4th baby.
Is this normal for anybody else? We all have busy lives and she is someone who likes her own company since my FIL passed a few years ago.
Thanks!