Angry Husband - Don’t Know What To Do

[RetiredSusie]

My husband has always shouted from time to time but these past 2 weeks we have constantly argued and the shouting has been incessant and is really getting me down. I don’t know what to do with myself I can’t say anything to him without him shouting again.

We live in a small house that we are renovating at the moment and there’s been some problems with the builders that has added stress.

I have a daughter but she is away on business in a different time zone. I have some friends but don’t feel I could call them without bursting into tears.

we have enquired about counselling but he couldn’t get us in till mid week next week.

Oh there’s no risk of physical abuse btw

Well he’s abusing you and the thing about physical abuse, is that most people think there’s zero risk until they’re hurt by a partner for the first time. But verbal abuse and shouting is one of the risk factors for future physical abuse so you may want to take that into consideration.
You say you’re arguing , but it seems that it’s him that is volatile, given that you say you ‘can’t say anything to him without him shouting’ , so it would be questionable grounds for couples therapy if he is in fact , an abuser.

What the previous poster wrote. You may think you are not at risk of physical abuse but you probably thought at one time you were not going to be verbally abused either.

Go to counselling on your own and contact Womens Aid when he is out. Do not go into joint counselling with your abuser. it’s a waste of time and is also not recommended when there is abuse of any type within the relationship.

Abuse is NOT a relationship issue nor is it about communication or a perceived lack of. It’s about power and control and your h wants absolute over you. He is not going to change and he does this also because he can. I note he’s always shouted at you.

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. He’s crossed that line and repeatedly. You do not want to spend the rest of your days living like this.

And op please DO call your friends and burst into tears if you must. That’s exactly what friends are for. You say your daughter is away, and it would be pretty textbook for an abusive man to ramp it up when you’re isolated from your support network, for whatever reason. Do you have anyone you can meet for a coffee, to get out of the house and perhaps chat about what’s happening?