Age Gap

[Nothernsoulfood]

Looking for advice as a single Dad.

I have been dating for a while without success having got to the stage where I can feel I can welcome a special person into our lives.

Dating apps have not really been working for me to date, I have a dating range set between 32 and 49. I am 42. However a younger woman (27), liked my profile, we got chatting and have met for a date.

She is absolutely lovely and we get on well and have some shared interests, but the one thing I worry about is the age gap, she is almost young enough to be my daughter (my kid still pre teen), and she mentioned some hobbies, I have know Idea what they are, like using TikTok to to tutorials and do clothes hauls.

I asked her why she liked a profile of an older man and she talked about having more grown up values then men of her own age and wanting the stability. She has her own career in the corporate world and has emigrated here from Nigeria.

I just worry about what she sees in me and what others will think.

Interested in if there are any age gap relationships out there and how you made them work.

Fgs just because someone is from Nigeria doesn't mean that they're out to get your money!! It's not a huge age gap and 42 isn't old at all. Just keep seeing her and see if it turns into anything. You'll surely soon know if she's genuinely interested in you.

You should move on OP.

"So Ms X, what attracted you to the well off man with a British passport"

My husband is 41 and I'm 28!

I would say take it as it comes and know your worth
a single solvent man with his own house hair & teeth intelligent & not sending dick pics is like a dog shit with diamonds in ( very rare and never to be seen again )

You would be a catch to many single women on OLD going by the absolute dross that is usually on there .

go out and enjoy yourself and do a tiny bit of research on her - check that she is actually working in her corporate job

tell her you will never ever get married again
and that you were born abroad in some obscure country so you don’t have a British passport either and never will 😂

tell her you don’t own your house it’s rented or it’s a family members house or it’s in trust for your kids so no new partner can ever take it

if she is a scammer and wanting a BP husband you’re lack off one will send her running

If she is really in the uk on a works visa then she is probably bright and hard working and genuine

However if she has an uncle in Nigeria who is a prince and wants you to pay a cheque into your bank for several million pounds and he will give you a cut I would think again. 😂

Go for it
enjoy yourself
be cautious
wear a condom 😂

Be wary about her being a potential scammer/after citizenship.

Sometimes if something seems to be too good to be true, it normally is. I would be very, very wary that a much younger randomer is in to me.

I find it really, really odd that a young 27 year old woman would be into a 42 year old man with baggage (sorry). Unless you have got absolute show-stopping good looks, I would be wary.

It could be permanent residency, or could be love , you will need to give it some time before being attached I would say a year or so . It seems so long but trust me , it would be worth at the end.

Decent, 42 year old men have their pick on OLD.

If women your age aren't paying you attention, there's something really wrong with your profile.

If people your age aren't interested, I would be very surprised if a 27 year old is.

If she gets pregnant…

15 years is a big age gap imo.

Shallow, attention-seeking consumerist behaviour from a woman old enough to know better.

I am considering dating someone with a similar age gap (he's 21, I'm 34). My main concern is we are at different life stages so it doesn't have longevity. It sounds like you and this lady are actually on the same page about things i.e. settling down, so might be worth a shot?

The age gap itself isn't the issue here. My own DH and I are 12 years apart. We met through work and knew each other very, very well before committing. No age gap issues at all. You know OP that's not the problem here. She fished for you based on a profile and now...... hmmm.

I would be very interested to know what her career is.

I would also imagine that she thinks she has a better chance of getting serious commitment (like marriage) from an older man, than from one her age.

I'm always 🤔 about men who go for women so much younger, ime without exception they have all been controlling and/or predatory. Just saying.

And pervy and youth chasing. It's gross.
For starters his age parameters were set 10 years younger but not 10 years older?
Men like him are grim.

My rule of thumb? An age gap is fine if the attraction is despite the gap. An age gap is a red flag if the attraction is because of the gap. If I were you I'd be exploring very carefully what this young woman's expectations are of an older man. Because you need to be wanted for your unique qualities, not as a stereotype of calm maturity or whatever else she imagines every man with a certain birth date will be like.

Agree with all of this. Big red flags to me especially with you describing her as out of your league. And she hasn't emigrated here, she is on a working visa. It's not the same thing. She probably does want to emigrate here which is the red flag for me as she has gone for someone older with children, bit of an odd choice for a 27 year old. Make sure you are in charge of contraception and don't just leave it lying around so it can be tampered with.

I thought the same!

I'd be wary of a scam of some kind or looking for a route to citizenship.

as others have said take it slow and get to know her, look at her linkedit, tiktok etc and see if her story is correct.

Also make sure you use protection if you have sex, if she has your baby she can stay in the country even if she is not with you. She might be wanting the golden ticket to stay!

If possible I would avoid sleeping with her until you know her more.

🚩 🚩 🚩
Don't be so gullible!

Is this just messages or have you met? How do you know this isn’t a scam from abroad and nothing more, dating sites are full of them.