Need advice on what to do

[Woo5007]

I have been with my partner for over 2 years and there’s been many ups and downs mostly downs on my part as you can imagine what’s happened anyway currently I’m trying to get access to see my child who is from my previous relationship and the mother isn’t the best let’s say and my partner is uncomfortable about me seeing her due to the past we have a baby together and she thinks that it’s unfair with the way that they are treated and I will admit that some aspects of it are unfair but I’m not sure what to do I try to treat them better than my other child but how do I make it so that she isn’t fed up or uncomfortable about me potentially seeing my other child any help would be great
cheers

You might need to give more details - this is all very vague. Nobody can advise unless you actually say what the issues are with both the child’s mother and your new partner. Why doesn’t the child’s mum want you to see your child? Why doesn’t your DP want you to see your child and/or your ex?

The issues were that I cheated on my current partner with my ex who I have the child with at the start of our relationship which has put a lot of trust issues and doubt and it is my fault that has happened and she feel like her opinion and feelings are getting ignored when ever we talk about me potentially getting somewhere with seeing my child or that I’m not doing anything to make her feel better about it all when I don’t know what to do about it

Thi sounds difficult, you may find couples counselling helps you to communicate better and find a solution.

You can't please everyone and need to focus on your priorities which are your children. Your partner is being ridiculous if she's demanding that you're nicer to her child than your first one.

You're a dad to two children and should treat them both the same. Continue to do what it takes to see your first child, it's so important for children to have a good relationship with their dads. Obviously within reason, if your ex is making silly demands then go to court.

You need to explain to your partner that your children are your priority and she needs to respect that.

Lol, it's hard to find sympathy as you've brought your difficulties with your current partner on yourself. No surprise she's insecure about your ex, you gave her good reason to be. Did she find out about your cheating before or after having your baby?
It comes down to whether you really want to be a father to your first DC, or are you also hoping to maintain contact with your ex for other reasons too?

Difficult situation for everyone involved.
But the worst thing is, you cheated on this girl with the woman you left. So.... If this was the other way round I'd be telling her to run. Because your situation is exactly the same as mine. To be honest I'm suspicious that you're my ex. Except me and mine don't have a child together. My partner cheated on me I suspect multiple times at the beginning of our relationship. I wish more than anything that I left when I found out. But I stayed and endured an abundance of issues that have absolutely torn me to bits. The mother of your child will always be in your life and you broke whatever trust your new girlfriend had for your 'finished' relationship with the mother of your child. In my opinion speaking from experience, this relationship has already failed. You putting your new girlfriend through more and more torture is just tight. You should suck it up and call it a day. See it for what it is. You fucked up all of your priorities with these women. The best thing you can do moving forward is focus on being a decent dad.
We tried couples therapy, but we went once and then was bailed on each time. So continued to go each time alone. Which gave me the strength to actually leave a relationship and now I'll continue to see my therapist alone and stay out of this relationship that has consumed me for years.