Bf has lower sex drive than me

[Secretsquirrelll]

Hi I’m not sure what to do for the best my bf(30) and myself(f45) have a great relationship and have been together for 4 yrs we have a healthy sex life (1-2 times weekly) alway passionate and exciting but I want it more I have a much higher sex drive than him to the point where it’s probably abit too much lol
anyway long story short I don’t want to have to keep pestering him as I want more all the time so I mentioned about getting myself a dildo and ask how he would feel about it
he said it would make him feel abit weird but he mmm uuummmm I don’t know it’s upto you
we do have sex toys but no dildos
do I just get one and hide it and not tell him?
or do I say well I want sex more and I don’t want to have to keep banging on to you all the time which can be off putting 🤷‍♀️ but this may upset him and put him in an awkward feeling/situation that he cannot keep up with me or satisfy me with twice a week sex anyone else had this sort of situation? advise would be great 😊

Not sure why you have to run it by him. Would you be thinking of using it with him in bed next to you? Nothing wrong with a bit of self love but not sure that rubbing it in his face is the way to go about it, just quietly sort yourself out.

My DP and I don’t live together but he has a lower drive than I do. I usually go round without the intention of sex but then we hug and kiss and it usually turns that way. If it doesn’t, I will quietly sort myself out while he’s in the shower or making dinner etc! He doesn’t need to know about it.

Your sex toys are entirely your decision and personal. You don't have to discuss them or get approval from your boyfriend.

Hi op.., I’ve kind of been in this situation before with my current dp. Can I ask, has it always been 1-2 times a week even in the honeymoon period?

Why would you ask for his permission to have a dildo? Your masturbation has nothing to do with him.
Unless you were trying to hint to him that you want more sex without actually saying it. In that case - just say it directly. At 45 yo - you are a grownup and don't need to beat around the bush... no pun ...

well we didn’t live together in the honeymoon period so it when we saw each other but it was more than once at each time if that makes sense I mean we have a very healthy sex life but I just feel over the top compared to him lol I’d have it twice or three times twice a week if I could

Thanks for reply this I find is the best advice more suited to me so thank you. I guess I spoke to him about it as we do use other sex toys together just not dildos so would be open to using it together but his reaction was a quiet one so made me feel oh maybe not then lol