Marriage advice

[Empop]

I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I have been married to my husband for almost a year, together for 13. sorry if this is long.
We have always had a good relationship apart from a rough patch when he was going through a family bereavement and he was stressed and depressed a few years ago.
I recently had a miscarriage and it devastated us but when I was pregnant I felt like huge cracks were beginning to show. It's like we aren't a team anymore and sometimes I don't recognise the person I fell in love with. He seems to have changed a lot. He is so quick to anger over the littlest things. For example the other day we were walking our dog and he asked me to put her lead on. I didn't think we needed to and she was enjoying roaming so I said no it's fine leave her to run. He asked me again really firmly and I kind of smirked at him as I thought this was so silly and then he grabbed the lead from me and stormed off shouting that I've got what I wanted and I have wound him up. He said get in the car or i'm leaving you here and was calling me all these names. I was so shocked I was in disbelief. He never said sorry for this actually said I should be the one apologisng to him. We were about to go on holiday together with friends so I just let it slide.
Just now back from holiday and the toilet is broken and keeps running. I was having a bath and had left the top of the loo off. he came in bathroom and started raising his voice saying he had fixed it and he's shown me how to use it and obvioulsy i'm not doing it right. I said it's not fixed its broken we just need to sort it and he completely flipped started yelling at me pointing his finger. as he stormed off I said under my breath 'who the fuck is this person'.
he heard. and then yelled at me more, looked me dead in the eye and told me he hated me and slammed the door and went downstairs.
I can't believe this is my marriage and I feel at a loss. I don't know what is wrong with him at the moment and I feel when I do something wrong I always apologise but he never apologises for anything. I feel I keep sweeping stuff under the rug and letting it slide but then it's building and building and I don't know if this is what I want my marriage to be.
I don't know what I want to get from posting this I just feel so alone.

He has no right to call you name or raise his voice to you. He is being abusive. Have you noticed any other changes in his behaviour? You said you noticed cracks when you were pregnant. What were these? I’m sorry for your loss. It could be that this bereavement is a huge part of it. However, it’s very common for abusive behaviour to start when a woman becomes pregnant and the man feels she is trappped. Also, is he like this with you in front of other people? What was he like on holiday with your friends?

I don't know OP I'm afraid I sympathised with your DH regarding the incident you described with the dog: it sounded as though he was trying to be a responsible dog owner and you didn't want to do that and you " smirked" at him. I'm not surprised he was exasperated and annoyed with you when it reads as though you were trying to wind him up.

You and he seem to be approaching everything from totally different standpoints. You have both been through difficult emotional experiences:bereavement and miscarriage Have you considered having couples counselling to try and work through your issues?

The only way to sort this out is by trying to talk to him when both of you are calm.
He may be suffering from stress, depression or similar and trying to shield you from it as you have been through a lot and then it just explodes as he cannot contain it. Not saying this is acceptable.

If you think the marriage is worth it work at it but do not become a doormat. Good luck.

Do you think he's interested in someone else? Sounds like the kind of about turn a person does when they've turned on their spouse during an affair.

Irrespective of the reason, do not put up with someone treating you like that OP. He's being very domineering and shouldn't be calling you names. He's looking for reasons to criticise you and berate you. When he says he hates you, I'd believe him.

If my DH told me he hated me that would be the end of it. This is not the man to have a child with. You think it's bad now, it is going to be thousand time worse when there is a baby.