why am I so pathetic? (long, sorry)

[patheticlady]

Just need to write all this down really so that I can see how pathetic I am being!

Have been seeing a man for a few months now. Nothing heavy, he lives a long way so we only see each other once a week (twice max). When we're together, we get on brilliantly. Conversation flows, and the sexual spark is amazing. We have the same ideas, interests etc.

But when we're apart, it's horrible. We constantly think each other are up to something. He didn't answer his phone to me at the weekend, so I thought he was off doing something. Really, he was swimming! So I sent an arsey text and he got angry and turned his phone off so then I was panicking why his phone was off!! Then I went out last night. I didn't hear my phone go and then he was panicking what I was doing!

When I ask about meeting up, he always says not to worry if I can't make it, we can leave it for another time. This makes me feel crap. But then if I don't contact him for a couple of days, he doesn't either, and it becomes a game of who can hold out the longest. It's always him who ends up contacting me.

I just don't get it! He wants me to meet his DC's and he wants to meet mine but I can't let him unless I know he's serious about me. When we meet I ask him why he's so cold and offish sometimes and he says it's cos he thinks I'm too good for him..hmm..good excuse!

He also happened to let it slip that his mate wanted to set him up with some girl but he had refused. Which made me think either his friends don't know about me or our relationship isn't exclusive. I haven't met his friends but that's mainly because we don't get much time together and when we do we want to be alone. He does say that when I can spend the whole weekend with him he will have some friends round so I can get to meet them all.

I just don't know what to think. When I see him I believe he is besotted with me. When we're apart I feel like he doesn't give a f*&^!

Maybe it's his way of dealing with the distance? Or maybe he really is just after a bit of fun?

Help, I feel like a pathetic looney, not a grown up women!

Hmmm...it sounds to me as if he either is very immature and emotionally very needy or not serious about the relationship (or both). I had a boyfriend like that once. Turned me into a wreck within months. Stayed with him for 2 years and wish I got out sooner.
For what it's worth: I would probably look for someone more stable...or change the situation to be closer to him. If you really get on well when you are together that should solve the issue .

Good luck!

To be honest, I wouldn't call it a relationship with a great deal of trust at all.

You both seem as bad as each other. Stop playing games. Talk to him and tell him how childish you're both being and that if you want to continue making it work - it has to stop.

If you have no solid reason to doubt him other than his every moment is not spent at your side - then stop doubting him. It's normally the people who are obsessive about others doing wrong who are the ones who actually do wrong themselves.

If you can't handle a relationship with someone far away for fear of them being with someone else when you're not about - then cut your losses now before the kids get involved.