Childish argument

[Zoe0168]

We’ve been dating for a couple of months but have been friends for longer.

Yesterday, after a nice day together, we went back to his place. Out of nowhere, he asked what I'd do if one of our mutual friends, Alex, showed romantic interest in me. I found the question odd since Alex and I are closer than they are, and it felt like it might stem from insecurity. He continued to press the topic.

I told him my friendship with Alex is purely platonic, then asked why he'd even bring this up, as it felt immature. To make a point, I stated it would be the same as if I flipped the question and started pressing him how he'd feel if another mutual friend, Mia, expressed interest in him.

He immediately replied, 'Well, if we weren’t dating, I’d definitely give things a go with Mia; she’s a really attractive woman.’

Am I being unreasonable to be put off by this? Not just by his immature question about my friend but also by him openly stating he'd date another friend if he had the chance.

No you’re absolutely right to be put off by this ridiculous pathetic immature conversation.

A few weeks in and he’s already telling you who he’d shag given the chance - bye bye mate

Oh dear
Thats two things to unpick
He sounds unreasonably jealous and the subsequent comment is designed to make you feel insecure

very off putting
your feelings are spot on

Thanks for validating this - I was meant to be staying over his yesterday and I went home instead after this conversation because I just couldn’t be bothered with it

That's terrible. First he shows jealousy and insecurity by asking you what you'd do if a friend fancied you (which is a not good). Then he tells you another woman you know if attractive. So clearly he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

It's only been 2 months. Unless you're teenagers (in which case this sounds very normal), I'd probably not continue this relationship.

I feel the same way—why did he even need to bring it up in the first place? It was completely avoidable.

He is a few years younger than me, and this is my first time dating a younger man. I didn't think it would be an issue since we're both in our twenties, but maybe he's just a bit late to mature. 🤔

Ugh, this feels like it'll only escalate with time, if he's already this brazen. Put him back in the sea!

So has basically told you his friendship with his woman friend is not platonic because he wants to have sex with her.
And he is applying his own motivations to your friendship with your male friend.

I don't see why you would want to continue dating him after this conversation. Much better to find someone more mature who doesn't think it's normal to tell his girlfriend who he fancies as her replacement.