We aren’t having sex unless we’re drunk.

[Didyouhearwhatisaid]

My partner and I used to have amazing sex! We still do but we only have sex when we’ve both had a drink. In between we’ve had a baby, lost a job; started another, found stuff he hid for a while, decided to work through, got employed and here we are. We haven’t kissed in about 3 weeks. He only told me he loved me after my surgery on Monday after about 2 months. This is day 16 since we last had sex. I’m starting to think something is really really wrong. I spoke to him about the affection and this morning he only gave me a kiss on the cheek. Am I delusion? Is my relationship over?

Well it's not thriving. Time to have a serious conversation and stop hiding behind alcohol.

Sounds like you've lost the spark and are taking each other for granted.

"Found stuff he hid for a while"

Need to expand on that, really

How old is your baby?

Nothing wrecks your sex life more than a baby and some life stress. Nothing wrong with a few drinks either but it shouldn't be a crutch. Definitely time for a chat but set achievable goals.

16 months

He dm’d a girl the week I gave birth that he missed her
Found nudes and vids of exes in a folder he claimed he forgot about

I thought so but we’ve lived together the last 3 months and there’s just no way
I can see his history on his tablet that’s connected to his phone

I'm sorry to say this but you have bigger problems than only having sex when drunk. A man that texts that to another woman when his partner has just had a baby is a proper dick. This is not on you, he's a red flag.

Yeah I'm leaning towards him having an affair unfortunately. If your baby was younger I'd say a few weeks between sex (or longer!) is super normal, but assuming your baby can be put down for a few hours in the evening now that's not really the case. Hope you're ok x