After yet another failed relationship where I won’t bother with the details - but let’s just say that I didn’t want the whole loaf of bread. I’d have settled for a bit of crust rather than the very, very occasional breadcrumb I was getting…
I was starting to think that there was something wrong with me and that I seemed to need validation from my partner, like how I felt about myself was linked directly to how they felt about me. But I was wrong. It wasn’t that - it was that every time I put up with shitty behaviour, or a complete lack of any sort of affection, that it chipped away at my self esteem because of how I viewed myself.
When I told this one to get lost, and I got the “you’re so needy” speech. I didn’t even take it on board. He left, and I immediately got some of my self esteem back. I just stuck up for myself. And that feels good… no matter what the next few weeks or months entail. At least I know I have some respect for myself.