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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Repocussions of a meltdown

0 replies

Inspireme2 · 21/09/2024 12:18

Today I had a family talk about my teens aburst 2 days ago.
This involved my 13yr old screaming at me to leave her alone, attempting to kick me while asking her to get of a shared bedroom.
I held her kick and asked her to leave.
Today she claims I was holding her leg by the ankle but not to stop her kicking me.
Recently over the past 6wks her friendship become toxic to which was repaired but I advised her to limit if not move on.
That evening I took her laptop to discover the convo between them, this kid is talking about not eating because she is a fat pig...my child is talking her into not being silly, your a great person.

This causes me concern.
A wk ago the kid had threatened to have her smacked over & wished she was dead etc to online messaging.
Ringing hysterical swearing because I had invite another friend to stay for dinner, asking was this a sleep over, on a school night
This was the last straw in the drama for me.

School has helped, removed that kid from beside her and encourage her to seek other friendships.
I have enjoyed seeing my child be met each morning by her other friend, talk, slowly come into her own as a person.
The toxic friends messaging after 2 days my daughter has a meltdown, I cop it and my family blame me.
So we met today & discussed it and my mother did a complete turn around on me.
I can not stipulate who she can be friends with but now I am seeing,, I was saying I am trying to limit and let her be aware of toxic friendships.
I am being unreasonable to expect her off the internet by 9pm.
The fact I install these rules are my problems in the morning for school.
My house was untidy and the kids room messy...I have had a busy week but they have clean clothes, eat well, warm.
To tell me my house is disgusting and I should be doing housework after a 8hr day it's usually, laundry, dishes, shower.
I was shut down and told my daughter has no voice, I say bs.
I am installing boundaries, rules, but then whonis the parent living and doing it all alone.
I am to ring when she plays up, I called twice no answer so I ring another family member qho Today saod why did I ring bitching about my child...I needed help and that's what I tried to do.

Two things,,, mother expectations then dictates at me I'm controlling to much.
Ok, let her have an opnion but whens a kid to do as they please with no house rules
I went to a therapist the following day who said carry in but step away or remove myself otherwise cobtuine as you are.
I repeated some of this to my mother who thinks it's a load of shite.
Yes I made a mistake yes I'm angry about what happend but she's taken my child and clothes for school without asking to extend her stay which was only for tonight.
I have anxiety so since the spat I have anger issues & get highly stressed & need to do something about it.
I did get the ball rolling by sering a therapist yesterday.
This has caused a huge rift without feeling heard except no your doing this, you cause this etc.
This is a young teen doing well up until days ago and I don't want it to become the norm nor be her friends therapist at 13.
She is in school councelling of recent which I am pleased about.

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