how did your dh treat you while you were pregnant?

[SaucyMoo]

Im 7 months pregnant with my second baby and have realised dh hasnt treated me any differently to when i wasnt pregnant. i dont want to be treated like a princess but he hardly ever goes out of his way, ill always have to ask him if he can lift this or that or pick something of the floor. I dont know if women get special treatment when they are pregnant but i feel really uncared for and was wondering whether its my hormones or whether husbands/partners do become more caring when their wives are pregnant?

Im sure he was much nicer during my first pregnancy...are all men like this? i just feel depressed and think im being taken for granted considering i cook, clean, iron his shirts, make his packed lunch etc etc.

i just wanna know if im being stupid

I felt like this too (as I was spending 12 hrs a day trying to renovate our new house at 8 and 9 months).

where's the bloody chivalry gone???!

Mine was pretty awful both times

in all honesty i think you should probably tell him how you feel - it's the little things that make a difference, especially if you are feeling a bit wobbly.

Mine had stopped speaking to me by the time I was 5 months gone, and had stopped looking at me (sat with his back to me!) by about 7m!

please tell me you're being sarcastic barnstaple

TBH mine has been great, but it is the first! Maybe the novelty wears off after a first baby. Lifting and carrying is pretty basic though, that's about protecting your child, he should be doing that automatically.

Mine was definately better first time round! He is bored with hearing about all my symptoms! However, he does remember to ask quite regularly, "Is there anything I can do for you?" which is nice. Also, doesnt matter how pregnant I am , he's always up for a bit of hows your father - if he gets the chance!

fist time he was pretty good (to begin with) - used to run baths for me and bring me a cup of tea in bed sometimes. However he did go a bit 'crazy' in the couple of months before I had the baby. I think he felt the need to do some stupid and immature things before he became a father. That couple of months were when I needed him most. When I was pg with DS2 he was normal and it was much better.

I know how you feel and don't think you're being stupid. Mine was ok first time and pretty useless second time. Both times if I complained of anything he'd just bring up some ache or pain of his own. The first time he did make an effort cooking dinner for us etc but not the second time. I guess the novelty had worn off second time but I definitely felt like a needed more of a hand with a toddler to look after as well. I did tell him how I felt but didn't make much difference. I just tried not to be too upset by it - at the end of the day it's just what he's like - he doesn't do sympathy very well at any time. I was fortunate to have quite easy pregnancies but would have appreciate more help/ attention!

Mine was not helpful during pregnancy, however he was surprisingly helpful in labour, did whatever I asked and cut the cord, he isn't a man who faints anyway. So that was an unexpected bonus.

my dp was quite poor with looking after me he just didnt know what to do didnt really talk to me for first 3 months due to shock

when had first scan he became more attentive

had really bad sickness he didnt know what to do so he'd sit in other room not even offer me a drink or come see if i was ok

when my back played up he was ok helping rub ointment trying to get me comfortable

when i had kidney infection i think he thought i was faking as told eveyone i had mild back pain in fact i was having very strong contractions every minute for 2 weeks finally doc sent me to hospital as my body believed it was in labour and had temp of 105 asnd he was an angel didnt leave my side until last thing at night

and the labour he was fantastic couldnt have done it without him

i think we feel we need pampering yet you get others who want to be independant still with the im not ill just pregnant

i think its hard for men to know what to do

maybe just have a lovely chat one night and drop in you would like a bit more help affection etc sometimes they need a bit of a nudge in the right direction

My DH was generally lovely. He read my pregnancy books with me, tied me shoelaces, hauled me off the sofa, carried everything, didn't complain when I'd done nothing all day...

My brother however shouted at me when I needed to stop for the loo every couple of hours when we were driving around France (I was around 17 weeks then). He accused me of blaming everything on being pregnant. Little bastard. He was better with his wife apparently, but I think he's more typical than my DH

my dh was great. he even put my tights on every morning before i went to work (had very bad sciatica in last few months)

first pregnancy I was completely molly coddled, meals made for me, breakfast in bed etc...however 2nd,and 3rd was buisness as usual
Suppose difference is my kids dont care if I am pg so have to be normal around them as they are young so dh followed that lead..lol

Mine was fantastic first time round and is responding to directions and hints this time round. All in all, not too bad.

Mine is generally helpful and supportive.
He did get thouroughly fed up of my foul temper during first three months, for which I cannot blame him in the slightest. But we are in the rare and fortunate situation of both being at home a lot - I am a sahm and he chooses his hours. So he is around a lot and took on baby care while I was throwing up.

Dh is not good. He keeps asking " are you o.k.", which I like. But he feels he is hassling me.
My friends think he is a control freak lover, so he can't cope if there is something he can't do anything about.
I have been in ALOT of discomfort this pregnancy. I am now, as I type. He can't cope with this. Mind you, I am struggling big time.
He is a total sweetie, but he can't cope with me being in pain.

thanks for all your posts, i guess most men are like my dh in that case. if they are generally caring i think theyll be caring during pregnancy too. I have told him i need more affection but he doesnt seem to realise how upsetting it can be when he gets into bed and turns over without a even a goodnight kiss. He thinks im just being dumb. I hope hes better when the babys born. i would just luv him to offer me a massage or something pampery to show that he cares otherwise how do i know that he does?

ggirl, I wasn't, but we're OK now though it took Relate a while

My husband was pretty good last time and is being amazing this time.

Dh was great, but he was on occasion a bit insensitive, like people can be, I guess sometimes he would forget I was pg, at a time when I needed to remember.

But for the most part he was patient, understanding and helpful. Esp as I had morning sickness throughout the entire pg which meant my meal times/food/general eating habits had to change, and he made sure people understood when we were invited to dinner, that kind of thing.

sounds just like my dp. my dp is very nice man but it's only in last few weeks he has really realised i am preggers iykwim.(I'm 38 +2)
i read an article once on 'love languages', men have different ways of demonstrating love than women, this i found very useful, try to look for the other things he does to try and show you he cares. my dp is a hands on practical type of bloke and has done loads of things around the house and worked really hard to bring extra money in. it's not hearts and flowers but it's his way of nurturing and protecting us. i still wish sometimes he would mollycoddle me a bit more and do a bit more housework tho!

i was told off for going on huge walks or climbing ladders once i was big- and he was right in fairness. he'd take heavy bags from me, and try to not complain about my restless leg kicking malarky.