Emotionally abusive relationship - same sex

[Tinafromtheblock]

I’m currently in a same sex relationship that I believe is emotionally abusive and coercive control. I want to leave. Right now I keep going back and forth with doubts, doubts that it’s not abuse, she’s just insecure etc.

Is there anyone else who’s been in similar situation that can share their stories? I’ve tried searching and 90% of them on forums are either about male / female or it’s more serious (they don’t name call, put me down etc - it’s much more subtle such as don’t like me seeing friends, can’t mention exes, no privacy, checks my phone, need permission for friends & family to come over, passive aggressive, sarcastic, flits between low mood and high mood).

Reading others journeys would really help :)

This is the cycle of abuse. They love bomb then switch. It keeps you off guard and then reels you back in. Slowly erodes your sense of safety and self. You become codependent.
Contact Galop for LGBT specific support. You can also contact women’s aid.

galop.org.uk/types-of-abuse/domestic-abuse/

Thanks, I will have a browse.

Other people's stories will not help you. Because the two people involved in another relationship are too completely different people than yourself and your girlfriend. You just need to get out of any relationship that is in any way abusive.

Love, you know she is going to try and manipulate, blame, gaslight, go round in circles - you've expressed all her modes very well.

None of this can stop you walking out. I know you know this too.

I disagree very much. There are always similarities, sometimes glaring similarities, in others' stories.

Why do you think there are so many mutual support groups for situations as diverse as alcoholism, drug addiction, domestic abuse, parenting kids with special needs, going through serious illness etc. etc. ?

I know, and I HATE that I’m so worried about how I will be perceived

This x 10000

You will get over that. xxx

It doesn’t matter. You know the truth. I would suggest that when you end the relationship, you cut out mutual connections too because they will likely become her flying monkeys and they’re not good for you either. I realise this can be hard but in the long run, it’s worth it. Block her everywhere and go full no contact.