Would you get annoyed

[Cherryxbananas]

I don't understand my boyfriend. We don't live together. It's been 4 years. He has health issues. He hasn't worked for a year now and he is becoming more and more rough if I'm honest. It's sad. He used to take pride in his appearance. Hair cuts every 3 weeks. Always looked smart. Liked fresh white tshirts and socks. He has always smoked weed but as I said above he worked and always looked smart. Now he hasn't had a haircut in 2 months. He has been given a second hand Coat that had a hole in the elbow and he just looks ill! I help him with meals and things so I'm not neglecting him if he needs something I try to help.

He has been diagnosed with chronic depression. It's the worst type from what I've read. He sleeps alot when he's not with Me. He's getting more and more unreliable. When he's at my house he seems to be able to get up. He sometimes nods off on the sofa and he's not one for late nights. But overall he helps me around the house and we cook etc. The minute he goes home it's like he's living a different life.

At least 4 times (including yesterday) in the last month he's let me down..he messages around 8am says he will come up if its my day off from work. I'll take my children to school. Then come home. I then can't get hold of him. I'll get a message of him around 2pm saying he nodded off again. Then around 5pm he will then dissappear again until the following day.

I got a message of him at 4pm yesterday and rang him 10 Mins later. Still haven't heard a thing.

I'm starting to suspect something is going on.

Apart form the replies I'll get about leaving him what do people think.

It seems very off to me that these long periods of time are passing and he vanishes

Surely your focus and energy would be better spent on your children.

The problem is that it's the correct answer.

You have kids, you can't afford to be squandering your time and effort on this man. There's nothing wrong with having a partner, but the key word there is partner. Someone who shares the load, offers you support in the same volume as you give it to them. A partner makes your life easier, not harder.

This man is a drain on your energy. You're better off alone.

I think it’s very unlikely his GP will talk to you. It would be unlikely if you were his wife.

You can’t help him and have been advised by professionals to take more care of yourself. At least one of you should listen to advice given make sure you do.

What?! Why on earth would YOU need to speak to his GP?!

So sorry if you’ve answered this airway but what are Bea let us he in and is there any background on his parents who’ve passed away?

Please prioritise your children and leave this guy to sort his own life out.

You shouldn't be allowing a drug addict around your DC and into your home anyway; use the time you are spending caring for him on improving your own life and that of your kids.

Stop bending over backwards to pander to this attention seeking drugged up loser and use the time and energy you’re wasting on him to prioritise you and your kids.

You don’t want people to tell you to dump him but that’s the only sensible response.

Its easy to say leave him but in reality this is someone you love(d).

It's not helping he is taking medication and overdosing on it and smoking weed as well - thats a terrible combination. He really needs to knock both of them on the head.

Was there anything that happened to cause his depression? He needs serious help from the GP but he might not want it.

No you don't, you're not his mum. You need to focus on your ACTUAL children.

There's nothing a GP can do about an overdose. They'll just tell you to ring 999.

They won't speak to you anyway, as you're not related to him.

You need to stop trying to save him, and concentrate on your children.

Second that!

As a long term sufferer of depression, I can tell you now, there is nothing you can do to help him. But you can protect your own mental health by choosing to put your children and yourself first.

I'm sorry for both of you.