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Original poster

The beauty of female friendships

31 replies

JaneFondue · 20/09/2024 07:31

This is a random thread, I suppose, as I don't have a problem and am not asking for help.

But it sometimes strikes me, for a woman-only board, there don't seem to be many posts on the beauty and specialness of female friendships, especially as you get older. I only see posts about how female friendships are drama, bitchy, or too much trouble.

I don't have many friends, but I just had a lovely catchup with one of my oldest friends yesterday, and it was so rejuvenating, like a trip to the spa.

OP posts:
NewSchoolYearRevamp · 20/09/2024 08:03

My female friends are the constant in my life. Men have come and gone. There are some friends which are more for the fun times and then there are the ones that are part of my support network. I read on here that people don’t have friends and I feel extremely grateful for the friends I have. I’ve never had a best friend as such and in recent years I have thought that would be nice without having a live in partner or much family (none that live within 3 hours).
It is nice to see a positive post.

Original poster
JaneFondue · 20/09/2024 08:06

I have been married over 25 years and DH is a keeper. But recently, as I trudge through menopause, only my women friends understand certain things about the female body. We are quite scattered but keep in touch by WA and meet as often as we can.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusDeiGatti · 20/09/2024 08:11

Female friendships are wonderful and I’d be lost without my women friends.

Citygirlrurallife · 20/09/2024 08:11

I think the thing is people tend to come on forums for advice and help so naturally you’ll see more negative posts in general (the same I think can be said for posts about any other relationship - husbands, mothers MIL etc) but agree it’s nice to have a positive one occasionally just for the joy of it

i adore my female friends. Thank god for them. I literally don’t know how my mental and physical health would be intact without them

Arriettyborrower · 20/09/2024 08:13

Oh god YES 🙌🏻

My female friends are everything to me, my DH died a year ago and was very sick for the 11 weeks prior, my female friends were beyond incredible. I have friends from school, friends I made at the school gates, friends I’ve made at work, friends I’ve made at the gym and recently two widowed friends who are very special - all of them have been amazing and are such a positive, light, happy, essential part of my life!

Everyday I am grateful for my friends and the love, joy and understanding they give me. I actually talked about this in therapy this week, the specialness of female friendships.

Original poster
JaneFondue · 20/09/2024 09:12

Sorry to hear about your loss @Arriettyborrower My mum was widowed young, and she has survived only with the help of her female friends. You clearly work at keeping and making friends, and I think that is so wise.

@Citygirlrurallife you are right of course. People only talk about their problems.

OP posts:
JustFrustrated · 20/09/2024 10:01

I wouldn't be able to cope without my two best friends.
They're both very new to my life (as in, met one July 2023 and the other march this year)

But the support, lack of judgement and love we give each other through our various ups and downs is beautiful.

They're my biggest supporters, cheer leaders and straight talkers. And in return, I'm the same for them.

Augustus40 · 20/09/2024 10:18

You are lucky I have never had many.

pinkyredrose · 20/09/2024 10:20

I'm with you OP. My female friends are like family to me.

AliasGrape · 20/09/2024 10:26

Absolutely OP, mine are so special to me. Just back from a little trip with one of my very best friends, it was so lovely - so easy, relaxing, fun. Chatted about the big stuff and the stupid little stuff, laughed our heads off, read our books next to each other in silence and then retold the stories in them to each other, put playlists on from our younger days whilst we were getting ready for dinner and sang and danced around our apartment. I just loved it!

FunnysInLaJardin · 20/09/2024 10:27

totally agree. I have known my 2 BF for 25 years since we worked together at the same law firm.

We don't see each other often but chat daily in WA and their support is invaluable. We tell each other everything and there is never any judgement, just support.

I would be lost without them

Dweetfidilove · 20/09/2024 10:48

I agree - my mom, sisters and other female friends have been a constant support for me. We've helped each other through relationships, separation, child-rearing, illness, bereavement and anything else life brings. And you don't want to be near us when the laughter starts - absolutely riotous.

My older sister also has two best friends who have also just accepted me as their little sister and are the most amazing source of wisdom, love and prayers.

All in all I have some amazing women in my life 🙌🏾.

badgerpatrol · 21/09/2024 00:13

Life wouldn't be worth living without the women in my life.
As much as I've had incredible times either men, it's the female friendships which have been the most authentic and meaningfully.
Same with my family, the male members just can't hold a light up to the women in my family, they are the ones who have made anything of value happen

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2024 16:43

I've always had female friends but used to put an equal value on my male friends, as I have always got on with men well too.
Now I'm older I'm all about the women, with only a few longterm male friends. Women are brilliant. So supportive, loving and funny and not trying to sleep with you/rape you/attack you.

Christl78 · 21/09/2024 16:50

JaneFondue · 20/09/2024 07:31

This is a random thread, I suppose, as I don't have a problem and am not asking for help.

But it sometimes strikes me, for a woman-only board, there don't seem to be many posts on the beauty and specialness of female friendships, especially as you get older. I only see posts about how female friendships are drama, bitchy, or too much trouble.

I don't have many friends, but I just had a lovely catchup with one of my oldest friends yesterday, and it was so rejuvenating, like a trip to the spa.

I love my girlfriends. Female friendships are valuable and precious to me. Sisterhood for ever!

Sortalike · 21/09/2024 16:54

I have my two best friends and I love them dearly. We've been through a lot together over the years, we're incredibly close and very comfortable with each other. They have their own slippers here for when they turn up, one has a favourite mug.

The three of us are some distance (physically and emotionally) away from our families and we've become a surrogate family. Our husbands are close too, in fact two of them are away doing their very outing hobby fishing this weekend.

We've been friends for decades, and they enrich my life in a completely different way to DH & DD.

Whatineed · 21/09/2024 17:06

I used to have a broad range of friends, male and female in my 20s and 30s, but as I got older I really felt closer connections to my female friends, and only certain ones at that.

I have one friend who is very traditional, in her 60s, 10 years older than me. On paper we have absolutely nothing in common!!😂

Our kids were in school together for a few years, families holidayed with each other etc. Incidentally, she was more of a friend to my husband at the beginning than me.

When my husband walked out, she dropped everything to be by my side, and carried me emotionally for months through all the grief. I really found out who my female friends were at that time, I didn't need to hear the "two sides to every story" bollocks, or have to think on being a single predatory female husband devourer at events, or a problem uneven dinner guest with her. She just supported me, plain and simple, and kicked my arse when I needed it.

I will never stop owing her my love and support. And the laughs we have together are bloody fantastic.

aqualibra99 · 21/09/2024 17:21

Unfortunately I've had betrayal and women just ghosting me in recent years as I have been going through some rough times and not coping well. I honestly have had to cut off so many friendships I thought would be life long and there are very very few women I would now trust.

Babbahabba · 21/09/2024 17:23

In my 40s I absolutely treasure my female friendships and invest a lot of time and energy in them. I barely bother with male friendships, except with my close gay male friend. I was more of a cool girl in my 20s- having a collection of male friends I had dalliances with over the years. I was more flippant about my female friends but now I love them so much and consider myself very lucky to have them.

MferMonsterSearchingForRedemption · 21/09/2024 17:55

I am currently going through an awful time, and my two female friends have been amazing (and my mum). I honestly don't know what I would do without them right now.

I'm no fun to be around right now, but they love me and want to see me more to support me. I would also do anything for them. I didn't have good friends when I was younger, so I am so so thankful for them.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 21/09/2024 19:11

I don't know where I'd be without my really good friends. We've supported each other through all sorts over the years. We see each other less now because we're in the midst of life with primary school kids and have moved around a bit, but the love is there and we always always show up for each other.

Our kids also love each other like family.

SquirrelSoShiny · 21/09/2024 19:18

I love this thread OP and I'm really glad you started it. I have some truly amazing female friends. I can confide my deepest hopes and fears to them and be the sacred space to hold their hopes and fears in return. My life would be so much darker and emptier without them.

With love to all the wonderful women being awesome friends Flowers

Starfish89 · 21/09/2024 20:02

This is such a lovely positive thread! I have read a lot on Mumsnet (especially from certain posters) about how 'friends can never be like family'. As someone who doesn't have much family (only child) I find that so upsetting. Friends are so important to me (and I hope I am a good friend too).

unsync · 21/09/2024 20:09

I've known my bestie for over 35 years. We've been through everything together. She's more of a sister to me than my actual sister. I love her dearly.

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2024 20:13

Starfish89 · 21/09/2024 20:02

This is such a lovely positive thread! I have read a lot on Mumsnet (especially from certain posters) about how 'friends can never be like family'. As someone who doesn't have much family (only child) I find that so upsetting. Friends are so important to me (and I hope I am a good friend too).

They absolutely can 🖤
Sometimes better in some ways as you don't have all the family tension and fallouts, you choose your friends.