Trying to make it work with ex boyfriend and he tells me this…

[Lyndyroo]

Was with ex boyfriend for a year, was a lovely relationship for the most part but outside factors such as bereavement, a move for work etc ultimately made us end things. This was about a year ago now.
we are now back in the same city and have been dating.
for context- he was engaged before me and with a woman for 4 years, he told me he cheated on her with a woman from one who he slept with once one a work trip. He did not tell his ex fiancée this. During our relationship the ‘OW’ popped up occasional by message, replaying to his stories etc. this bothered me because I thought if he felt so bad and all this guilt that he said he did he would have cut her out of his life completely.
now we are back in touch he has told me he slept with this woman again during our time apart. He said he thought it best I knew because she had been an issue for us before while I’m glad he told me I am very bothered by this. Am I overreacting or how would you feel?

So she's his backup shag? Sounds like a whole lot of respect he has going on.

I agree with the above poster. She's always there as his backup. I mean, presumably she's ok with that setup too?
After every argument or sticky patch, I'd be wondering if he'd gone to her.

He isn't worth committing yourself to, he isn't going to stop contact with her.

Bleurgh. This man can't be what you dream of, can he?

Has he now (respectfully) cut ties with her without you having to ask him, or has he just told you that they slept together and now expects you to be fine with continued contact between them because he's been "honest"?

He said they slept together once a number of months ago and have had no contact since. They bumped into each other on a night out. When we were together I had asked him to stop contacting her and he had. Or so he said

Bluntly, your relationship wasn't strong enough to cope with life events & when you split up he went back to her welcoming arms (& other places!!) I wouldn't be with him now because you'll stop yourself disagreeing with him to avoid a row & getting into bed with her.

He told you he cheated on his fiance. So you know he's a cheat.

And one specific woman he cheated with is still hanging about.

He's not going to be trustable, is he? I mean if you just want a bit of fun that would be a different question, but you're asking if you should commit to him?

So he is back with you but ow still in the wings? Fair enough not ow to you at the time but she has no morals either..
Get rid op. Relationships really don't need to be this much effort... Not unless married for x years!!

Get rid. She’s waiting on the wings constantly ready to be a fall back shag every time he’s single and horny.

He appears to have very little respect for women tbh. And he won’t cut contact with her because he needs her ready and willing whenever he fancies a no strings shag.

Id be out of there faster than Usain Bolt in your shoes OP