My partner lost his mom last Christmas. His dad passed many years before so it's just him and his brother now.
I've been trying to support him so much but I also have a university course to pass. It's a masters course with placements so I am honestly all over the place and riddled with anxiety with this alone.
But my partner and I of 2 years aren't living together. There was a previous arrangement for us both to have our own properties and he has his. I'm just about to get mine, moving out from a council flat.
I'm struggling because I want to support him, I'm buying a house for us to live in (this isnt an issue), I'm studying to better my employment, I spend majority of my time at his, I'm supporting with day to day things. I'm so tired, I'm so hyper vigilant to every noise, every speck of dust, every bug I see. It's affecting both my studies and my relationship. He says I'm "going cold" because I'm not being affectionate, and that I'm going to leave him. But I'm not even thinking about that - if anything I'm feeling worse for not being good enough to get out of my own head and relax. And I end up doing more to stay at his, and then we don't go anywhere or do anything. He needs reassuring and so much certainty, I'm too distracted to offer this until the course finishes. I should get my house in 2 months so long as the sale goes through, until then it's always me going back and forth.
I ended up taking a break from the relationship, it's been a day since I asked for it. I'm miserable. I still can't focus on my work. Now I just think about him all day.
I need advice, I don't know what to do. How can I fix my relationship? How do I help him with his grief?
All of this with me knowing in the back of my mind, I don't even know if he would want me back now. I've made a mess of everything.