Dating someone new - nervous!

[Whyyougottobeanonymous]

Hi ladies
I’m feeling quite nervous. I have a young DD and I have decided to be open to dating.
I gave a dating app a go for 24 hours and matched with one guy who I’ve been speaking too since (a couple of months now) and we’ve set a date to meet this Friday evening.

I feel nervous as I’ve not dated in a long time and I suppose my confidence isn’t sky high the way it used to be when I was younger!

im really nervous about the prospects of him not finding me very attractive. I know he matched me based on looks but still he could see me in person and think not for me!

how do you get over this type of fear when dating new people? I don’t want it to hold me back and I feel it’s making me really nervous.

thanks xx

Worry more about whether you like or fancy him.

It's a mutual testing out of whether you get on and are attracted. Try to concentrate on whether he's a decent person and worth your time, rather than what he's thinking about you.

If he doesn't fancy you or vice versa, the worst that can happen is you have an awkward date.

Try not to overthink it. Be yourself. He’ll be nervous too. Enjoy your date.

You might not be for him OP and likewise, you may not be feeling it either, but there's only one way to find out! Try not to overthink it or get your hopes up too high at this stage. I was a seasoned online dater until I met DH. Sometimes you get knock backs, sometimes you give them, but try not to take anything too seriously or too personally a date or two in. Just be yourself, take it at face value and enjoy it, I really hope you have fun! If you're going somewhere where alcohol is involved, don't overdo it. I drank too much from nerves on a couple of occasions and made a complete twat of myself! Good luck!

When I did online dating, I approached it like this.

A first date isn't really a date.

You've been chatting to someone online who you get on quite well with. So you're meeting them in real life to continue the chat in person.

At this stage, it's no different to having a chat with someone in a pub.

There are no expectations other than for a nice evening with someone you don't know where you might have different conversation to the ones you might have with people you already know. You might learn something or gain a new perspective.

You might just have a nice evening out. You might think you'd like to see him again and you might think he is awful in real life.

You might be compatible, you might not.

This is not the start of a relationship or a blossoming potential love affair, its two people who are open to a relationship meeting up for a couple of hours. It doesn't mean you have found the person you will want to spend the rest of your life with.

If he doesn't find you attractive in person, it doesn't matter. It's one evening out with a stranger. Not forever.

Just enjoy it for what it is with no expectations.

Focus on whether you like him!

And in future, I wouldn’t chat for two months before meeting. It creates way too much disappointment if in fact you don’t like him in the flesh.

I old for a while. I had a unique style that I wouldn't chat with people as that just muddies the waters. I don't have kids though so was always free. If I matched I would offer them to meet during my lunch break or for half an hour after work. If we liked each other maybe an hour at the weekend. Mey my partner on Tinder with that process, 11 years together now

Ooh I'd missed that you'd been talking a couple of months.

I agree, that's too long. It creates a feeling of already knowing them when you really don't.

I always had a two week max rule. If I couldn't meet them within two weeks (preferably one), then I stopped talking to them.