Do friends who've ghosted you ever regret it or say sorry?

[purloapple]

Just that really. My old friend cut me out of her life three years ago. I know she was going through stress with her parents and marriage so gave her some space but she never replied to any of my calls or texts or even Christmas cards.

Most days I'm ok but some days I really miss her. I don't know what I did wrong, I've been over it in my mind so many times. Will I ever hear from her again?

I didn't when it happened to me. Hurt more than a romantic breakup too. It taught me a lesson though, hardened me up.

I think you know as well as the rest of us that no one can foresee the future.
No one can tell you whether you'll ever hear from her again.

I understand that losing a friend so suddenly and unexpectedly can be hard. But 3 years in, to still be suffering like that seems excessive.
Do you have many other things going on in your life, to help you to stop focussing/fixating on this one friend?
How is the rest of your social life? Romantic life? Work life? Hobbies?

Good points from@Girlmom35 , one thing is to consider her state of mind. Was she pushing people away at that time because of her struggling mental health? Might not have been to do with you as a friend. Try reaching back out, you may find she bitterly regrets it, but doesn't know how to approach it or doesn't have the strength?

@Girlmom35 I don't feel like this every day. If I see something that reminds me of her I tend to ruminate. It knocked my confidence rather than hardening me up.

a previously good friend ghosted me, she got back with an excuse and expected to immediately be keen to meet up again, without so much as checking in on my life. If she had asked I would have explained that I could not meet as I am long term ill, but no she just wanted what she wanted. It really said it all, and made me realise life has moved on, I wish her well but have no desire to pick up.
other friends I have drifted out of contact with I have no issues with and would gladly meet up again, but the ghosting and no interest in me in the interim was a red line. Sometimes it is better to focus on positive people, rather than chase friends and a sunk cost myth.

I’ve reconnected recently with someone who just stopped answering my calls/texts nearly 13 years ago, so yes, it can happen.

It's a shame she has had this impact on your confidence. It only reflects on her not you, look at yourself and ask why you feel that she was so important to you? Suggests that you had attached something you were missing in your life to her, something more important than a friendship. Some friends come and go and that is natural in life as things change. Some friends will be with you forever. It is important that you are comfortable with that and making new friends and moving on as needed.

I wouldn't hold my breath for an explanation. Sometimes people do things without even understanding themselves.

One of my closest friends ghosted me a long time ago. It was heartbreaking. She never explained nor apologised, but then years later would like my social media posts/leave comments as if we were friendly acquaintances. IMO she's a troubled soul, and her avoidant behaviour hurts her more than it hurts anyone else.

It took a long time to realise this. All the best to you x

I cut out a 40+ year friendship about 5 years ago. I have never regretted it. My reason was because I grew to dislike my friend’s behaviour (and I told her). In your case it’s harder as it doesn’t appear to be anything you’ve done.

It's awful, it happened to me around 3 years ago with a friend from school. She just completely cut me off and stopped answering my messages and I've no idea why. It's sad because I look back at old photos and we have so many great memories together but I have no idea what I did wrong!

Yes sometimes there is no going back. Trust is gone for me. 20 yrs friends. I feel I just wouldnt trust her again. Like another poster knocks you a bit confidence wise.

A friend ghosted me 3 years ago, when I was recovering from a life-changing illness. She then texted me, months later, on Christmas day. I'd been so upset and had missed her so much but wished her a happy Xmas. Nothing then for a year, then a text on Christmas day again. This time, I told her some happy family news, and she asked to meet for coffee. I ignored it. That was MY turn to reject her.

It's happened to me a couple of times over the years and it is very painful, very good friends are hard to replace. Agree that it is probably more something the other person was going through as opposed to anything to do with you after so many years of friendship but even if that is the case, it doesn't make it easier to deal with.

I have got over the recent friendship break up by reminding myself that there will be a universal life reason for this and that whenever something hasn't worked out for me usually something better has come along instead it's just you don't know what that is, or when that will happen, until it happens. So trust that everything will be okay. Wish your friend well but love yourself more xx