Abusive ex still manipulating family

[SusieKL]

My family is dealing with a sudden bereavement. It is a really difficult time. Abusive ex came to pay his respects which is fine, I wasn’t there so didn’t feel anxious or threatened. But since he has been texting mum etc saying close family member was like a dad to him when in reality he laughed at my upset when I found out about close family member’s illness and said you’re acting like he’s already dead. I was quite normally upset and I think I cried, I didn’t do anything more than that but that was our marriage - emotional abuse which until recently I had absorbed as normal. I know I cannot stop him manipulating family and I know it is something I will have to cope with but does anyone have any advice? We do have children who we coparent as amicably as possible.

Tell your family that he laughed when he found out he was ill. Surely they should know what he's like after you divorced him. Be factual and honest, no need to protect him by staying quiet.

Stop talking to your ex unless it's specifically to do with the children. Look up grey rock technique

My ex is a master at appearing a gentleman. They know the extent of his cheating throughout our marriage. To tell them the extent of the things he said would be very upsetting. But then seeing him vomiting if to manipulate them is very hard.