Narcissist or other PD?

[Badgertime]

I need some help please. Strongly contemplating divorce. I know I need to but before I start I want to know what I'm dealing with. I still don't know.
Married around 15 years ago (separated for 8 of those but stupidly let him back last year). 3 kids who are now teens/pre teens (his kids).

1. Silent treatment - Will go for days or sometimes weeks not speaking to us (recently did not say a word to me on my bday).
2. Will speak to son and completely ignore daughters when in the room. This morning he walked straight past my daughter and said morning to my son, went to the kitchen, came back, spoke to son again and walked back to his room. This is happening regularly. He does the same to me.
3. Does not lift a finger around the house even though he 'works' (does day trading) from home. I work full time and do everything.
4. Denies everything when I mention something or bring up a problem making it out as though I'm imagining things or being really silly. Laughing sarcastically
5. Does not have any hobbies and sits in his room all weekend not even getting changed.
6. Has no outside friends and has alienated his family
7. Has become almost like a recluse doing this day trading and rarely goes out
8. Critical and demeaning
9. No emotions or empathy
10. Babies the children calling them 'baby' or 'little one' when they are teenagers
11. Last year seemed to get into trouble financially (probably with his day trading) and couldn't pay his mortgage anymore so sold the house
12. Has stopped driving so on top of everything else I have to be the taxi driver for the kids as well
13. Talks down to people or mocks them
14. Gets angry and defensive when confronted

I need out but I know he's going to make it difficult.

He's been like this since I've known him so it's not a new bout of depression or anything.

Yes you definitely need out again. You will find the strength to do it again. Good luck 🤞🏼

Wow so quick. I just posted. Thank you. I need the reassurance. 🌺

I just need to say though that I have built a stone wall and I don't bother talking to him anymore either though I will reply courteously if he does happen to speak. Sometimes that makes me think maybe it is me now but that's after years of this behaviour off him.

He sounds a bit depressed to be honest and I’m also unsure why him using pet names for the kids is deemed an issue.

If you both don’t speak to eachother and you were separated for 8 years then maybe the two of you just aren’t compatible.

He sounds so awful and I don't say that lightly about husbands on here.

The gaslighting - denying your reality - is truly soul destroying and is a classic Narcissist behaviour. Also sayings like ' you're too sensitive ' ' can't you take a joke '

Silent treatment also appalling. Saying I just need a bit of space for now and then explaining is understandable for some personality types. This sounds very manipulative though.

Just get out. Absolute prick and will have an awful impact on the kids.

Did you marry my ex-husband?!

This is highly abusive behaviour. Do yourself and your children a kind favour and leave him.

Also, I promise you - there are lots of kind, loving men out there. I married one.

You can change the direction of your life and find contentment.

Please do it sooner rather than later!

You’ve done it once and managed and you can do it again. He sounds awful - silent treatment is abuse. And think how he’s messing up your children - separation from him will actually benefit them. Don’t doubt yourself 💐

I'm not sure it even matters what you think he might be. You dont have to spend your life with him. From what you're saying, he's not living with you as husband and father, and he sounds very unpleasant.

No doubt he needs help, but that's up to him to pursue.

Hope you'll be OK

Thank you. The doubt is horrible and why I'm here. I'm blaming myself big time for ever letting him back. My daughters are being affected by this and I know I need to protect them. It's like he is doing the same to them as he did with me.

Because it embarrasses them and they don't like it. He's an 11 year old being called 'baby boy' in front of people.

You don’t need to give his behaviour a name to end your marriage. You can end it for any reason you want and his behaviour adds up to a lot of reasons.
Make your life, and your kids lives better, by leaving or telling him to leave.