A question to those who's husbands / partners left them..

[CleanShirt]

Do you think you'll ever be able to trust a man again?

Nutshell, almost exh left me absolutely out of the blue just after Christmas. Turns out he had his head turned by a younger colleague and they are now living together. I had absolutely no idea about any of it and it was entirely out of character for this supposed "good guy".

I'm in absolutely no place to meet someone else while I'm healing, but even if I felt like it I don't think I could trust a man ever again - if be permanently looking over my shoulder.

Anyone else feel the same? OR any happy stories to share?

I've been single since DS was 2, now 16.

I would welcome a personal relationship, but I would be very very slow to share my home again. Certainly not until DS is at uni, and even then only when the financials were locked up tight.

I'll never marry or co-own property again. It's just not worth the risk or the hassle.

I'm hoping to meet someone lovely who equally values his own space, and have a together/living apart life 🙂

Yes, I trust my partner. Amazing man.

However, even though we live together I maintain my independence. I've brought up my DC’s whilst working full time. He respects that I don't want to leave my job, marry and that the house we live in is my house, which my DC’s will inherit.

I never want to be in a position where I come home to a ‘for sale’ board with the DC’s and I having to move and start again. I want to be secure in making my own choices.

My exh was a right shit to me and the kids before and after his affair was revealed. I was on anti-depressants, in therapy etc. for a couple of years after. But tbh I now feel like if I got past it once I could get past it again, and I wouldn't put up with disrespectful behaviour for anywhere near as long. That's actually more important to me than a partner leaving.
Current partner does not claim to be a good guy or play holier than thou like my ex. But his actual behaviour is considerate, generous and caring. Been together almost 8 years, living apart by choice, now with vague plans to move together.