If you were taught that driving (relationships) involved no seatbelt &100miles an hour on cliff edges then it’s difficult to get out of that mindset
but you do need to, because until you do normal driving (relationships) will always seem weird compared to the breakneck adrenaline fuelled rollercoasters you’ve been in before
you will always be comparing from a skewed perspective
maybe new companion is driving gloves, seatbelt, 20miles an hour on suburban roads daylight only ‘Sunday driver’
or maybe somewhere in-between the two extremes
and wherever on the scale it mightn’t guarantee a suitable match
regardless of your age, the freedom or new beginnings programmes, other therapy, some self-reflection or mix of all, will really help you think about your priorities, your redlines, what you want for the remainder of your life etc
and how a romantic partner might interact with that (or not, it’s not an essential)
you don’t have to jump from 3dates to eternity - and that’s a big assumption that it would be your choice alone - likely your date has a few thoughts on the matter
no need to ‘be kind’ and ignore your preferences or desire for a bit of excitement but I’d be trying to work out any residual damage from previous relationships first
as PPs have said abuse can fuck up your perception of normal so for your own sake review if your expectations of relationships are wildly out of whack
and Red’s advice is sound - honesty, like keeping your windscreen clean, might seem boring, or uncool, or scary (people can see in at you picking your nose 😂) but at least you can see where you are going
and also how filthy someone else's screen might be