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Original poster

Worst ex and dad award goes to

25 replies

BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:08

Anyone else’s ex and dad to their children rubbish? A lot of the time I can bypass it as I have to otherwise I’d be constantly annoyed but today is the last straw.

I have to see him a few times a week as I start work early and he has to take our 4 children to school but he is a nightmare. Moans constantly negative doesn’t do a thing with the kids always criticising acts like everything would be better if he was still living here. Today he had a go at me as I have to go into work to the office tomorrow and two of the children are off sick. I’ve tried to change it around but I can’t as all the desks are full and its a requirement that I go in once a week. So I asked if he could come over (he works nights not in the day) to have them at mine (he only rents a room in a house so has to come to mine) Cue him kicking off acting like a 5 year old slamming doors and running around in a temper.

OP posts:
Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:11

There is a lot more I could say about him but you get the jist 😐

OP posts:
Clumsy12345 · 15/09/2024 17:13

hmm my ex doesn’t see our children at all i think absent dads are the worst kind of “fathers” (through choice of course)

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:14

Clumsy12345 · 15/09/2024 17:13

hmm my ex doesn’t see our children at all i think absent dads are the worst kind of “fathers” (through choice of course)

Agreed but when he is here he may as well not be. Doesn’t do a thing for them and moans about even cooking tea for them

OP posts:
Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:15

Do you have anyone else who can help with childcare? What would you do if he weren’t around? If he pays for his kids and helps around them then he’s not as useless as a lot of other men I know.

i wouldn’t be keen if my ex rang me on a Sunday and asked me to have the kids if that’s not what was planned. I may try to accommodate but I’d expect them to be able to sort themselves out without me.

Why does he only rent a room? Doesn’t sound like a good set-up and highly stressful for you.

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:17

Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:15

Do you have anyone else who can help with childcare? What would you do if he weren’t around? If he pays for his kids and helps around them then he’s not as useless as a lot of other men I know.

i wouldn’t be keen if my ex rang me on a Sunday and asked me to have the kids if that’s not what was planned. I may try to accommodate but I’d expect them to be able to sort themselves out without me.

Why does he only rent a room? Doesn’t sound like a good set-up and highly stressful for you.

He doesn’t pay for them. He owes me thousands in maintenance and moans about doing anything for them.

OP posts:
50andhopeless · 15/09/2024 17:17

And you noticed this after 4 children?

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:18

50andhopeless · 15/09/2024 17:17

And you noticed this after 4 children?

It wasn’t that simple ☹️

OP posts:
SauviGone · 15/09/2024 17:19

acts like everything would be better if he was still living here

Yea I’m sure everything would be better for him if he was still in your home, hence why he’s conveniently only renting a room in a house share rather than sort his own place, so he simply has to come to yours to see his children.

I would start by applying through CMS for maintenance and making him take all 4 children out of your home for his contact time.

Toomanysquishmallows · 15/09/2024 17:20

My ex had an affair when dd1 was 3 months old . He stopped seeing her when she was 5 , she is now 25 ! There has been no contact for 19 years, we don’t even know if he’s alive or not .

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 15/09/2024 17:20

50andhopeless · 15/09/2024 17:17

And you noticed this after 4 children?

Just don’t.

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:21

SauviGone · 15/09/2024 17:19

acts like everything would be better if he was still living here

Yea I’m sure everything would be better for him if he was still in your home, hence why he’s conveniently only renting a room in a house share rather than sort his own place, so he simply has to come to yours to see his children.

I would start by applying through CMS for maintenance and making him take all 4 children out of your home for his contact time.

Edited

He owes over 25K in debt so he has no other option but to just rent a small room with 7 other lodgers so can’t have them at his

OP posts:
Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:24

Well that’s not great but you haven’t answered my other questions @BeRoseScroller

Why is he not set up to have the kids at his and only rents a room? Even if he were still with you he may not be able to take the time to have the kids for you. Night shifts can be gruelling and take a toll on your circadian rhythm.

SauviGone · 15/09/2024 17:25

BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:21

He owes over 25K in debt so he has no other option but to just rent a small room with 7 other lodgers so can’t have them at his

Show quote history

So?

As I said, claim through CMS and make him take his children out for his contact time.

You’re facilitating his uselessness.

Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:25

Cross posted and seen your response.
Were you married?

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:27

Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:24

Well that’s not great but you haven’t answered my other questions @BeRoseScroller

Why is he not set up to have the kids at his and only rents a room? Even if he were still with you he may not be able to take the time to have the kids for you. Night shifts can be gruelling and take a toll on your circadian rhythm.

Normally after a night shift he takes them to school then goes back to his, this is just for one day to ask him to have them as they are both poorly 🙁 and I don’t appreciate him
slamming doors and being in a temper every time he’s here 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:27

SauviGone · 15/09/2024 17:25

So?

As I said, claim through CMS and make him take his children out for his contact time.

You’re facilitating his uselessness.

Show quote history

I am going through child maintenance for his arrears 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:29

Coldfinch · 15/09/2024 17:25

Cross posted and seen your response.
Were you married?

No but we were together for 11 years its taken me 3 and a half years to get him out of my house to get him into his own room

OP posts:
Clumsy12345 · 15/09/2024 17:39

if having him around truly makes no difference then arrange alternative care? then you will be less annoyed and stressed that’s of course if it truly makes no difference?

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:40

Clumsy12345 · 15/09/2024 17:39

if having him around truly makes no difference then arrange alternative care? then you will be less annoyed and stressed that’s of course if it truly makes no difference?

I can’t 🙁 my parents lives 200 miles away

OP posts:
oliviaspelt · 15/09/2024 17:43

I asked my ex if he would spend some time with his daughter and he replied it's not convenient. This wasn't any particular weekend but just to spend some time with her and apparently any day of the year was not convenient

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:46

oliviaspelt · 15/09/2024 17:43

I asked my ex if he would spend some time with his daughter and he replied it's not convenient. This wasn't any particular weekend but just to spend some time with her and apparently any day of the year was not convenient

I understand, thing is if he does spend any time with them its too much effort for him never plays with them does anything never says anything positive or nice to them

OP posts:
Ilovelurchers · 15/09/2024 17:50

It's not nice that he is slamming doors etc of course. One can appreciate that if he is on nights he is probably tired, and unexpectedly having the kids, much as he (hopefully) loves them, may not he ideal. However, it would be better if he managed his frustration a bit better.....

He does sound a bit of a dick from what you say, but I honestly don't think he is the worst dad ever from this info - at least he is helping out, even if it's with a bad grace. And he should help of course, but sadly not all men would.......It does sound like you are both doing a better job of co-parenting than many! So well done for that!

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 17:53

Ilovelurchers · 15/09/2024 17:50

It's not nice that he is slamming doors etc of course. One can appreciate that if he is on nights he is probably tired, and unexpectedly having the kids, much as he (hopefully) loves them, may not he ideal. However, it would be better if he managed his frustration a bit better.....

He does sound a bit of a dick from what you say, but I honestly don't think he is the worst dad ever from this info - at least he is helping out, even if it's with a bad grace. And he should help of course, but sadly not all men would.......It does sound like you are both doing a better job of co-parenting than many! So well done for that!

Thanks. Its not just slamming doors it’s throwing stuff around etc etc,

OP posts:
MouseMama · 15/09/2024 17:55

You have my sympathies he sounds like a waste of space. Of course there is a lot of competition for the “most useless dad” top spot

Original poster
BeRoseScroller · 15/09/2024 18:09

50andhopeless · 15/09/2024 17:17

And you noticed this after 4 children?

It has taken me 3 and a half years just to get him out of my house so please don't judge. It isn't as simple as you make out

OP posts:
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