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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I over reacting?

14 replies

Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:20

After reading the image, am I over reacting?

First of all - I’m on my period. Which I WARNED my husband about. I posted this picture of me on my insta (something I rarely do!). I did a more natural curly hair routine today to help my natural curls bounce. Washing, conditioning mask then only brushing with fingers and dabbing with towel. So I loved it, made a story that said “Sometimes my natural curls come out”. If anything I thought my husband would like it and make a nice comment. But no. He says this. And told my it’s silly to think my hair naturally did that because I had braided it the night before (even though I did a full wash routine when I woke up). He made me feels stupid. And why did that even matter to him? And when I told him it upset me he told me I’m being dramatic. Which could be possible as I’m on my period.

am I over reacting?

Am I over reacting?
OP posts:
MsMajeika · 14/09/2024 21:28

Did he write that publicly or send you a private message?

Gently, I think you're overreacting. His comment wasn't mean-spirited and he didn't know you'd washed it again this morning.

Anyonefortennistoday · 14/09/2024 21:29

Well personally OP find the whole idea of putting photos of your hair on Social media pretty daft anyway.
And to get upset over what your DH said seems even dafter.

Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:37

I’m a hairstylist, and I use my account for that as well. I have a lot of other moms I go back a fourth with. I also have clients who follow me who have curly hair that I work with. (:

OP posts:
Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:38

No it was private. I told him after that I did wash it and he literally argued back saying it was the braids. Like why is he arguing with me about my hair?? Lol..@MsMajeika

OP posts:
ZanyPombear · 14/09/2024 21:40

I thought I had straight hair. I think your hair is wavy as a result of the braids. Mine does the same even after a wash and I have mine in braids

Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:42

ZanyPombear · 14/09/2024 21:40

I thought I had straight hair. I think your hair is wavy as a result of the braids. Mine does the same even after a wash and I have mine in braids

Edited

@ZanyPombear ah! Yes. I did put a little curl conditioning cream (my hair is dry) and it helps my hair come to life! And not brushing it is huge..

OP posts:
ZanyPombear · 14/09/2024 21:45

Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:42

@ZanyPombear ah! Yes. I did put a little curl conditioning cream (my hair is dry) and it helps my hair come to life! And not brushing it is huge..

If your hair is naturally wavy, you shouldn’t need to put a cream in it to get it to be wavy? What cream is it?

Deebee90 · 14/09/2024 21:46

Your hair is wavy because you braided it so he’s right. Don’t make false stories for your clients it isn’t right.

Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:48

@ZanyPombear if hair is damaged (mine is from sun and bleach) then the curls are damaged as well. I use the African American line by Pantene. My hair did have wave as a child. Over years of coloring etc it lost some of it

OP posts:
Bhawk29 · 14/09/2024 21:52

@Deebee90 it’s not false! I braided my hair the night before with a coconut oil mask THEN washed it. Braided curls to not last after literally washing them out. This is not from taking out the braids. once again, I WASHED it and then did my natural routine for my 2A hair type.

OP posts:
TerracottaWorrier · 14/09/2024 22:48

As a single example is kind of hard to get bothered about, OP. Is this event part of a wider pattern in which you feel disparaged?

Starspangledbanner7 · 14/09/2024 22:57

Hair doesn’t stay wavy from braids when it’s been washed, I have curly hair, and yes we do use creams and gels and don’t brush it when it is dry, to get the best out of our hair. Wavy curly hair does not take kindly to a straight haired girls routine, using oils and creams is no less natural than running a brush through it, and blow drying it like straight haired people do. People have used creams and oils in their hair for thousands of years. Curl and wave definition doesn’t come from brushing your hair out, and that doesn’t mean your hair isn’t naturally curly or wavy, because wavy curly hair is cared for differently to straight hair! People comment without a clue don’t they. Brushing curly wavy hair leads to frizz and less definition, what’s more natural, to oil/cream it and not brush it, or to brush it and no oil or cream?

The more you care properly for your wavy/ curly hair, over time the more definition you have.

Just different methods for different hair. Brushing pulls definition out of wavy hair.

anyone that thinks washing your hair after braiding it keeps it wavy, that’s ridiculous, and if it was true, why would there be any need for heat tools to curl or wave hair, just braid and wash! Washing your hair resets it to its natural condition. Hence as a curly girl, I brush when the conditioner is in, rinse it out, put a bit of hair cream in, and let it dry, no heat, no brushing, and lovely wavy curls. Without the cream I have curly hair, just thirsty frizzy curly hair.

IThinkImStillMe · 14/09/2024 23:03

I think it's condescending and rude and it would have pissed me off

Frith2013 · 14/09/2024 23:12

I think you're overreacting.

But then I have fine, straight hair so the effort you made this morning is more than I make with my hair over a year!

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