Hello, I've changed username for this post.
I was together with my partner over 10 years, together we have a daughter who is 6.
Our relationship started to go down hill the last couple of years, he was emotionally cut off, addicted to gaming, always worked but very lazy which progressed to a ridiculous point. Socially awkward in some situations, huge introvert, a lot of his traits were not at all noticeable to me when we got together or even the first few years, infact I thought he was exactly like me. We were young when we met, he was a lost young man dealing with family troubles and health problems, but we connected through work and it just felt like home.
Our relationship went through very troubling times for the both of us, but we were each other's rocks and safe space. There was no abuse, no infidelity(that I know).
He put on a lot of weight through our years together, to the point he was very overweight and that definitely contributedto his depression. The last year of our relationship was basically two strangers living together raising our daughter, I was his mother, he needed reminding to do absolutely anything. Eventually the beginning of this year he told me his plans to leave, that he couldn't do it anymore, wasn't in love with me etc etc. He moved out in May.
2 weeks after moving out he tells me he has a girlfriend. I kind of sussed as his phone was glued to him for a good 6 months prior. However this wasn't any average affair, infact this was just utter madness. The 'girlfriend' was 11 years his senior and from a country in asai, he had infact never even met her.
He told me they had met through a language learning app and had been videocalling for months etc etc and he's booked tickets to visit her this year.
He was madly in love with this girl in his fantasy world. Working 70 plus hours a week to save up for her.
Very long story shorter he messages me last week to say it's over with them(before it even started) but as he's booked tickets he's still going to the country as a holiday.
He sees his daughter on a tuesday evening and overnight Fridays. Every time i see him he's still depressed, looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. He seems totally lost though he has lost the weight through working out. I really thought our split would allow him the time and space to get himself healthy mentally. He just seems sad all the time. I want him to be there for his daughter but it's like he's going through an early midlife crisis or deep depression but will not seek help.
Do i keep on at him to see a GP, or do I simply allow it to unfold, he put me through so much turmoil this year, turned into a stranger within days, let me down in ways unimaginable to me but our daughter loves him very much and for that I hate to see him like this.
Anyone experienced similar I would appreciate any advice given
Tia