Is my relationship over?

[MuggyMcMuffin]

I have been with my partner for 11 years. Own a house and have a child together.

I have tried for so long to make things work and improve our relationship.

I always feel like he’s judging me, don’t feel like I can be myself around him due to fear of judgment.

I never get compliments, feel loved, other than when we have sex, or feel valued.He admits he takes for granted what I do.

Basically had to give him an ultimatum to propose to me when we’d been together 8 years. Wish I hadn’t.

Whilst pregnant I had reduced movements often, he was out on the piss and I had to go in to be monitored. I told him and he stayed out. Never came to the hospital.

When goes out drinking, doesn’t text me back or let me know where he is. Most recently he lied to me about going out and never called or text all night.

When I suggested counselling he said no, he’d rather break up as his parents had counselling and didn’t think it worked. Also said I’d exaggerate or lie.

I am not perfect but I’ve continually worked on myself. I have counselling and I try to be better.

I never thought I’d get to this point, but I just don’t care anymore. I’ve mentally checked out. I’m realising I deserve to be loved.

I don’t know how to leave if I wanted to. It’s not easy with a house and a little one involved.

He now says he needs to sort his drinking out as he gets carried away and he will go to couples counselling, but I don’t know if it’s salvageable.

What do you all think?

Hi, I'm going through a tough time ATM too. It's hard to see the light sometimes in your own situation. But reading yours I feel you deserve so much better lovely. If you want to try counselling you will know in your gut if it's right and after it might confirm that you need to break away x

He has shown you he doesn't care about you and didn't support you when you neededhim to during your pregnancy.

He has a drink problem and if he has stayed out all night and not bothered contacting you then you really don't know what else he gets up to.

It sounds as though you have put a lot of work into the relationship and taken the responsibility for trying to make it work onto yourself.

The only reason he now says he will stop drinking and have counselling is because he knows if you split up he will be worse off himself. If you agree to stay together he will just revert to his bad behaviour.

You will be much happier without him.

He's really awful. He couldn't even help you when you were in hospital. You deserve so much more than this.

In my experience when someone is judging you like this - particularly when he's out all night - it's because he's going with other women. They are giving him validation and he's judging you against them and using that as justification for cheating.

You would feel so much better without him. Perhaps post your financial situation - house, work, income, nursery fees, etc - either on this thread or on another if you want anonymity - and you will get really good advice.

No, its time to end it now. He's not going to change because he really doesn't think he needs to.

You've accepted it for now but now you want more as you should. Time to see him off