So what's the way forward when you could live without sex quite happily for the rest of your days, but your dh...

[emkana]

...is (understandably) not keen?

Looks like I need to "fix" myself when I don't really feel the need from inside to change anything, only outside pressure - because I don't want dh to be unhappy.

But how can I fix myself?

What do you think is the root cause of you low libido, Emkana? Is it pnd / lack of time or energy / or a build up of unresolved resentment towards your husband which is stopping you from feeling sexually interested in him, etc, etc.

Emkana - I know exactly what you mean. We are in the same state of affairs in our house. I think that the only thing to do is to try and keep your libdo alive (well maybe with a flickering pulse). I read romance books and one of my friends watches porn films. I find that at least this reminds me that sex happens and that I might want it

littlewoman, I just don't know. I just don't feel like it, ever.

Am just reading comments on Alpha Mummy blog on sex life, and there are lots saying you must do it twice a week... oh deary me...

there may be a clinic in your area that you could get an appointment with?

i really believe that the more you have sex, the more you want to have sex.... of course if you really really dont want to then he must respect your wishes but have you tried going with the flow and seeing what happens?? does he initiate sexual contact? was there a time you did enjoy sex? how long have you felt this way? do you masturbate? enough ?'s?

What kind of clinic are we talking about here? What do I look for in the yellow pages?

sexual health clinic
Not all of them offer psychosexual counselling, you'd have to enquire.

Sadly, as you know, you're unlikely to get the same thorough investigation of the problem that you would get in DE.
There are also physical causes - zinc deficiency, is one, I think. But with all the stress you have been through in the last couple of years, I'd try the psychological route first, I think.

Is that the law? Twice a week? No wonder my husband left

I never used to feel like it either. Have you ever been checked out for depression?

well?

islingtonponce, I have just realized I shouldn't really have started this thread because I don't, after all, feel comfortable to go into all these details.

thank you though, all of you, for trying to help me. Will probably try and get professional help.

i'm sorry. hope it wasnt my too many ?'s. hope you get the you want help if that's what you decide to do.

good luck, emkana. I also had this problem, but we divorced before I found a solution! Hope you can improve your situation.

Yes, it really can be a relationship breaker, so I really wish you the best of luck and would urge you to seek advice. Don't just leave it to sort itself out, because it probably won't

Relate also offers psychosexual therapy - look up their website for info.