Myself and my Husband have 2 young children aged 4 & 2.
My husband has never been a hands on Dad and gave me an awful time during my 2nd pregnancy (which was a shock and I only found out late on) So much so that I ended up going on maternity leave 4 weeks earlier than planned due to the mental stress he put me through and also having little help to look after my then 1 year old.
Whilst in hospital with baby number 2 my 1 year old had to go and stay with my parents as my Husband announced he wasn’t able to look after him on his own. My Mum
was also being treated for breast cancer at the time.
After being home from hospital for 3 days my Husband told me that he was going to work 10am-10pm all weekend as a volunteer. This has nothing to do with the full time job that he already has. I was then left at
home with a new born baby and a 1 year old.
I was physically and mentally drained from being in hospital and ended up going to stay with my Mum & Dad again for some help and support.
In the last 4 years I feel like I have given up everything to look after our children who are my world. I gave up a full time job that I loved because my Husband said he wasn’t able to cope looking after both children on his own. Something that I do myself every day.
I was able to find a part time job to fit in with when the children are in nursery and now school. Husband makes sure that one of the days the youngest is in nursery is his day off so that he can have a day to himself.
My social life has been non existent for 4 years as I don’t have anyone I can rely on for child care. The only time away from the children I have is when I am in work. Other than that I am with them both 24/7.
I have kicked him out of the house twice as I just could not stand to be around him and he was making myself and the children so unhappy with his moods and lack of patience with the children. His parents will not have him back home and brought him back to the house to sort things out.
I thought we were working through things and then he told me the other day that his friend is getting married abroad next year and only a select few have been invited (him
included). The other select few are taking their family with them as a holiday but only the selected will be attending the wedding on the day. There is just no way we can afford a family holiday in less than 12 month. So I said if we all can’t go then non of us go.
Behind my back he has told his friend that he will be going over for 3 or 5 days and has booked the hotel.
This had absolutely broken my heart. I just feel like me and his children are not his priority. After giving up everything and him keep telling me he can’t look after the children on his own so that I can’t go anywhere or do anything he has the cheek to think he can just go abroad and leave us at home.
I have tried to speak to him about it and I get accused of guilt tripping him and blackmailing him.
Sorry for such a long post and back ground history but I am just looking for clarification if I am being selfish or unreasonable after the 4 years of hell he has put me through.