Do I give him another chance?

[Sevenoaks89]

I’m reaching out because I’m struggling with feeling lost and angry, and I need some guidance. Here’s what’s been weighing on me:
In june, I ended my engagement with my partner - engaged for 2 years, together for 10. He had a meltdown about his career and wanted to postpone our wedding for another year. This was after we had already postponed three times due to his parents’ interference. I later discovered that his parents had said they wouldn’t attend the wedding because they didn’t think he was ready, which made me feel utterly disregarded and disrespected. They still believe they did what was best for him, even though they didn’t seem to care about our relationship.
Adding to the pain, I lost my dad last January, which has compounded my feelings of loss and grief.
Since the breakup, his parents have sent me messages accusing me of disrespect and telling me never to contact them again. They also said I wasn’t good for him. Although my ex-fiancé, Alex, claims he has spoken to them and gotten their promise not to interfere again, I haven’t received any apology or reassurance from them. His mother has blocked me on social media.
Now, as we live part-time in Sicily, I’m heading back there next week and fear it might be a trap. Alex says he still wants to get married next summer but doesn’t want to discuss any plans until Christmas and is currently financially unable to proceed. I feel trapped and extremely frustrated because he doesn’t advocate for me or express his emotions openly.
I’m struggling with these unresolved issues and feeling very angry. Heeeelp

Absolutely not. A happier path is ahead of you without this spineless man and his horrible relatives.

Presumably you don’t want to be with him any more and have made that clear? What sort of trap do you fear?

You walked away:keep on walking and never look back;a happier future is ahead of you.

Break it off with him permanently.

A dear friend of mine lived in Sicily with a boyfriend but was never fully accepted by his family. They always came first in his life.

So sorry this has happened to you OP

I do want to be with him but I don't think he can give me the love I want. He's trying, but he couldn't even get an apology from them. I'm not asking for blood.
I'm afraid that I will go back and it'll just be the same story next year and I'll feel very stupid for believing his empty promises again .

Walk on and keep walking. You will never be happy with him.

Don’t waste any more of your life on him. He might eventually marry you but he’ll still never prioritise you over his awful parents and you won’t be happy.

No, you are not meant to be here. Go get your path where someone can not wait to skip you down the aisle and bring your families together! If he wanted to marry you it wouldn't take a decade.

Walk away and never look back. He was with you 10 years and couldn't commit? You've already wasted enough time.
Someone better will be round the corner!

Walk away. Loving someone is just one part of creating a good relationship, it isn't enough on its own. Unfortunately this relationship doesn't have any of the other things you need.

Walk away. You don't have time for this drama.

Do not go back into that relationship. He is not committed to you. If he really loved you he would have told his parents to butt out and get over it from the very first time they tried to interfere.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this pain at the same time as going through the grief of losing a parent. But happy times are ahead. Make sure you use this as a starting point of your next chapter rather than looking backwards.

No. Do not give him another chance.

It will be the same story. Why put this off? Things will not change. He's had a decade to put you first. He's chose not to do that.

Apologies for the multiple posts but I just wanted to add one thing that really helped when I was going through a break up:

Love isn't just a feeling, it's an action. It's something we choose. He has not chosen you; you deserve to be chosen wholeheartedly.

I’m so sorry OP.
Agree with PP, I think you do need to leave him.
Ten years is too long to wait for a commitment. If he isn’t ready after a decade then he won’t ever be.

Don’t waste any more time. Especially if you want to get married and start a family.

💐

Keep walking. His family is so hostile it's a lost cause. I am sorry

I’m so sorry OP, this sounds so tough.

I do not think you should give him another chance. I also think you should examine why you want to marry a man who has shown you that he does not want to be married to you. Everything you have set out about it makes it sounds like he is making excuses, in truth if he wanted to marry you, he would. You deserve better than the crumbs of his affection and a reluctant groom.

I know it must be devastating to love someone who does not love you enough. After 10 years no doubt it feels like if you leave now you will have “wasted time”. But that is not the correct way to view this. You tried and it hasn’t worked. But you will feel so much worse if, in another year or 2 or 5, you find yourself in the same situation. Because knowing what you now know, that really would be a waste of your time and your life.

Best of luck, OP. You would advise a friend in the same situation to leave. Take that advice yourself.

No - it’s a lost cause. His family sound vile but he’s happy to let them treat you like sh1t. He’s had 10 years with you and still supports his family over you. Don’t let him waste any more of your time.