Intimacy issue

[whsm17]

My heart drops when my husband asks me for sex it's just not a good feeling , I am never in a mood , and he keep asking and then I have to do it to not create a scene coz I don't even know why it feels like a task and a task I don't want to do . I feel like it's waste of time . I don't hate my husband but I don't see him in a sexy way either anymore it's like I'm just done with life and want to switch off . (We don't have an ideal marriage, lots of lies , affairs but we ended up making it work for kids )

Sex shouldn’t be a chore. Maybe it’s time to end it because it’s also not a good thing to stay in it for the kids.
They just end up believing that all the troubles of your marriage are normal.

Your dc need happy parents.. More than a fake family life.. They will use your relationship as a template for their own adult ones.. Divorce is a better plan.

It doesn't sound as though it's working for you if he is having affairs and lying to you. I would think not wanting to have sex with him is quite a natural reaction to his behaviour.
I agree with pp that staying in the marriage for the children doesn't work. They will be picking up on the unhappiness. Seeing a disfunctional marriage in action is not a role model for relationships that you want to pass on to your children.

Its not easier to stay with someone like this as you are all too clearly seeing. Staying for the sake of the children, well whose sake are you really staying for because its certainly not theirs, more perhaps your own. Do not be afraid to move on with your life. Divorce is not failure, living in such unhappiness is.

This dysfunctional model of a relationship is no legacy to be leaving them and is not working for anyone. Look too at what you are both teaching them about relationships here, is this really the relationship model you want them to see and potentially emulate in their own adult lives?.

I have to do it to not create a scene

No, you do not. This is coercion, and it is a criminal offence.

You do not need to lay down your life to keep the peace, please seek out some support. Womens' Aid have a live chat service and would be more than happy to hear from you.

‘A woman’s sex drive is determined by how well her partner treats her.’

Of course you don’t want to sleep with him; he’s an arsehole.

Divorce him and it’s amazing how much sex you will want when your new partner is honest, loves and respects you.