Hello
I posted another thread about the guy I was seeing for the last four years.
A lot of the replies told me that I was being abused, and I just couldn't see it.
Is this really abuse?
P.s take a shot every time I type the word "rage" lol
He was a good guy, almost sickly nice in fact, some would call it smarmy. He always did nice things for me, treated me out, cooked lovely meals for me because he enjoyed doing it, constantly complimented me, he basically put me on a pedestal, and went out of his way to make sure I was happy.
Underneath though, was a vile temper that would often rear it's ugly head. He would get into a rage over the smallest things that most other people would shrug off.
Once he was in a rage, there was no calming him. He would swear, throw vile insults, threaten to cause a scene, say his blood was boiling, then storm out and ignore me for days or weeks!
I always had to call him first to see if he was ok, and he NEVER took accountability. Every rage he had was blamed on me, because I was "annoying". He would apologise, come back and do it all over again over small things. When he was in a rage if I ever dared to respond, his rage would worsen and he would threaten to leave me/erase me from his life. He would never listen to me when I told him that what he was in a rage about wasn't a big deal, he would just storm out and stonewall me.
He has never been violent, but often uses the phrase "you don't know what I'm capable of". Once I asked him why he is so vile during his rages, and he said he doesn't mean to hurt me, he just says things in anger.
It takes him weeks to calm down from a rage!!
He demands respect at all times, and if anything you do or say isn't to his liking, he blows up. In fact, you have to watch what you say around him in general, because he is super sensitive and twists things you say to make them worse, thus triggering one of his rages.
Recently his rages have been more frequent and the insults have been worse.
During his last rage, I decided to finally speak up and tell him how nasty he was being. This resulted in him going mental, getting in my face and shoving me when I lightly put my hand on his chest to back him up. He then stormed out and left me 11 days ago, saying he's moving on and it's somehow my fault? I can honestly say that I've never done anything bad to this guy since knowing him.
Anyway, is this really abuse? Is it not just a guy with a vile temper?