I need someone to understand.

[Getgone22]

Literally everything I say to hubby he thinks I'm trying to cause an argument.
It can be the most simplist of things. Did you enjoy tea. What did you think of that film. If I get dressed up for a night out I ask if I look alright he gets offended by that too.

I have no idea what's happening but it's been going on for a few months now. I've got to the stage where I'm scared to try and make conversation with him because he just bites my head off. And everything is always my fault. Our relationship issues are my fault he never takes the blame for anything. I ask him something & he kicks off then he blames me for for saying whatever in the first place, never his fault for over reacting or anything like that.
I try & give him space and watch a film in the other room then he will come in and say what you sat in here for. I respond with I'm just watching this, I know you don't like it so thought I'd just sit in here. Perfectly happy. Then out of nowhere I get.. fine be like that then!

I've learned to just be quiet now but i shouldn't have to.
Does anyone understand or know what's happening?

You are in an abusive relationship with him. Time to plan your exit from this because this does not and will not improve. This is who he really is and you've already learnt to modify your behaviour as a result. He does not treat other people in the outside world like this either.

Yes he is having or thinking of having an affair. Sorry. They often pick fault with everything you do when this happens.

Why he's behaving this way really doesn't matter. He's abusing you and you have to make the decision that you won't live like this way. If a friend was being treated this way, what would you advise her to do? I bet it wouldn't be to stay and walk on eggshells for the rest of her life.

You know this isn’t right and you shouldn’t accept it. How long have you been together, is this behaviour very out of character?
What you must remember is that this is not your fault, maybe from time to time you might do something to annoy your husband but his behaviour is his responsibility not yours.
Have you tried sitting him down and very calmly talking to him? He could be having troubles he doesn’t want to burden you with or he could be having an affair as someone has said, you need to find out what the issue is. Going forward do not just accept his judgement of you, if he says something about you take a moment to think if there is truth in it; you can ask questions. If you don’t agree or only partially agree you should calmly say so. You don’t need to be aggressive to stand up for yourself, read around the subject of assertiveness.
You have value, your views are valid and any relationship you are in must work for you.
Good luck. X

I don't think it's an affair as we are always together. Neither of us pick our phones up that much on an evening.

I have thought about leaving but he's not always been this bad. It's always been there in a fashion but just recently it's gotten to be almost daily.

I've tried speaking to him aswell, in a calm manner just to ask why suddenly he's gone like this. He just snaps at me I do not want to talk about us or our relationship so I shut up.

We was watching a film the other day an old couple still together & battling through things I looked at him and smiled and casually said aww will you still love me when I'm old & wrinkly.
To which he replied, ffs I f*king married you didn't I. Silence then for the rest of the night I just wanted to go to bed and cry.

He has further ramped up the power and control here against you over time. This is how abuse continues, also this thrives on secrecy. This is who he really is and its not your fault he has declared his own private based war against you.

How can you be helped into leaving your abuser?.

He says everything he does for me is never enough I'm never happy according to him.
I told him I don't want things, I'm just happy to have him. That's it that's all I want. He told me the other month back that I'm making him unhappy, apparently I talk about us all the time and he doesn't like it. Even things like remember when we did this or that and it was a good moment he still bites my head off.
He thinks I'm trying to make a point as in 'we don't do this anymore' or 'you don't do that anymore
That's not the case at all I'm just simply reminiscing about good times we had.
I've told him aswell to stop telling me how I feel or what I think and he didn't like it.

Time to end this.

You just must get more firm with him, the way he is treating you is not remotely acceptable. You are not happy and you can’t be happy living like this. He has to talk to you and be prepared to change or you need to think about how you want to spend the rest of your life. X

He doesn't seem like someone who loves you or even respects you

He's being a fucking tool. That's verbal and emotional abuse. Leaving him would be for the best so he can be his miserable self alone. You'll be much happier.

I think he just plain doesn't like - let alone love - you anymore.

Do you have children? Take it from someone who experienced it, children know from a very young age how their parents really feel about each other. Knowing your parents don't love each other isn't a great way to have relationships modelled for you.

He doesn't want you to talk about your relationship because he might have to admit how he really feels and he doesn't want to be 'the bad guy'... he's probably hoping you will be the one to end it. Which is exactly what I'd do, at the end of the day you only have one life to lead and being this unhappy is a waste.