DH has started to complain about the way his parents don’t make the effort to see our DS but complain they don’t see him.
We are a busy family of 5 (2 DC are not biologically his but live with us full time)
We try to get over once a month to see them. We invite them over to our house and invite them when we’re going somewhere but they usually are undecided if they can come and then the day has been and gone.
DH says if they don’t want a relationship with him that’s fine but they complain that they don’t see him. I posted recently about GPs booking a holiday for DS knowing I couldn’t go. (Whole other issue)
DH joked on phone to his parents that life is hard and he might need to come over one night a week to rest and recover. (Long standing joke for us because he didn’t move out of his parents house until he was 30)
MIL has now been phoning him asking when he’s coming back, should she make a bed for him etc. SIL has said their dad is ‘depressed’ DH has moved out. (He’s lived with me for 4 years). I have never stopped DH seeing his family- he speaks to them often however she seems really pleased at the thought of him moving back in with her. Our relationship is great although we’re in the really busy tiring phase of life which we’ve talked a lot about and this was just a joke. I have no issues with them. They’re not overly friendly to me but I think that’s the type of people they are. MIL seems happy when her other children’s relationships have failed.
I’m trying not to respond when DH complains about them because I find in laws parenting/relationships a bit odd. She doesn’t speak to 3 of her children. Says her older grandchildren should come visit her (doesn’t make the effort herself) Booked a holiday for my DS when she doesn’t see him or ask about him.
I don’t believe it’s my place to give advice/opinions but I’m struggling to keep my opinions to myself. I’ve been googling enmeshed relationships recently and some things definitely fall into this category.
How do I go about supporting DH but not supporting the way MIL thinks it is our duty to see her. For DH and his sister it’s like MIL wants them and my DS as her family and could quite happily cut me and my children out. DH doesn’t think this is the case but it certainly feels that way.