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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tracker on car opinions please.

14 replies

EveryonesMother · 08/09/2024 23:37

I have just (this evening) found out my OH has put tracker/s on my car?
I had a ping notification saying my phone detected an air tag. When he was drunk sleeping I checked his home screen for an air tag App and saw 2 GPS Apps which when i opened i found all my movement and driving details from July onwards. The car is in my name but he uses it occasionally.
I know if i asked him he would say its for vehicle security, so why do it secretly?
Without going into detail, there are issues of DA.and AA.
I am being supported.
This is new and before i report it I wanted opinions as i know what all the reasoinable excuses will be.

OP posts:
Precipice · 08/09/2024 23:39

Unacceptable to stalk you electronically and monitor where you go.

NewName24 · 08/09/2024 23:55

As you say, it is the fact he has put it on, without it being mentioned to you.

Having a tracker on a car, for security of the car is a good idea, but if that were what it were for, that would be a conversation in a normal / good relationship.

Hazelchange · 09/09/2024 07:13

This would be extremely hard to do, it would take bravery and courage but I think consider calling the police. Behaviour escalating in a controlling manner is not alright. Be safe xx

Doggymummar · 09/09/2024 07:16

I don't know what da and aa are, but assuming not pleasant. If it's not nefarious it should have been discussed

something2say · 09/09/2024 07:19

It's an avenue of control and, if you are already engaged with a domestic advice service, it's a relevant fact x

JustWonderingWhatToThink · 09/09/2024 07:22

DA = domestic abuse
AA = alcohol abuse

Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 09/09/2024 10:58

He can't do this and it always amazes me when MNetters suggest posters try it with their husbands/partners. It is illegal to track someone in this way without their consent.

My ex-h did this to me. I don't want to go into details of what happened subsequently, but when the police got involved they were astounded I'd not thought to report the tracker when I first found it (I'd ripped it out of the car and threw it away as other people had minimised his doing this to me).

The police put a restraining order on him as a direct result of the tracker. It was classed as coercive control.

AmandaHoldensLips · 09/09/2024 11:17

This is seriously not okay.

NotAgainBrian · 09/09/2024 13:29

Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 09/09/2024 10:58

He can't do this and it always amazes me when MNetters suggest posters try it with their husbands/partners. It is illegal to track someone in this way without their consent.

My ex-h did this to me. I don't want to go into details of what happened subsequently, but when the police got involved they were astounded I'd not thought to report the tracker when I first found it (I'd ripped it out of the car and threw it away as other people had minimised his doing this to me).

The police put a restraining order on him as a direct result of the tracker. It was classed as coercive control.

Was the car in his or your name? And did he try to say it was for security purposes or was it quite easy to get the police to take it seriously? Sorry, not being nosy I do have a reason for asking. I've been in a similar situation but the excuse was 'it was in case the car gets stolen' and it was basically my word against his so I've never done anything about it.

Clueless2024 · 09/09/2024 13:31

Tracking your movements is NOT okay.

Fuckingpissedoff1234 · 09/09/2024 13:37

NotAgainBrian · 09/09/2024 13:29

Was the car in his or your name? And did he try to say it was for security purposes or was it quite easy to get the police to take it seriously? Sorry, not being nosy I do have a reason for asking. I've been in a similar situation but the excuse was 'it was in case the car gets stolen' and it was basically my word against his so I've never done anything about it.

The car was in my name. I didn't know the tracker had been put in the car.

I don't want to give too much info on a public forum, but the police took it very seriously.

aCatCalledFawkes · 09/09/2024 13:45

Of course it's not ok. If it's for the purpose of car security then he should of discussed it with you, the tracker would be on your phone and not his.

Planesmistakenforstars · 09/09/2024 14:01

This is part of his abuse. And since the car is in your name then it is illegal. Those are facts and not opinions though. My opinion is that you should plan to leave in the safest possible way. From your post, he is abusive and you have support involved because of that. With that background, this is a fairly serious level of controlling behaviour - men like this are dangerous and they only ever escalate.

EveryonesMother · 14/09/2024 15:46

Update
I downloaded a detector App and found the Airtag quickly. it was in the air compressor box in the boot. I have not diasbled or removed it as there is still a wired GPS somewhere as i have seen the driving notifications on his App. The second tracker gives all driving info from speed to miles to braking levels and then gives driving scores!
For clarity my OH is a drink driver (police aware) and says he is a better driver drunk than everyone else sober. I think as i am constantly berating him for this he is trying to prove his point, although how without admitting what he has planted I dont know, but his mental reasoning is somewhat disrupted due to long term after effects from stroke.
I will appoint a garage to locate the wired tracker then consider where to go with this next. Thank you everyone who has responded.

I have seen some similar posts that I have posted on too.

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