Partner confusing me when I'm already confused

[ItsBeenALongTimeComing]

I'm going through a bereavement of an extremely close family member and it's really fresh. I'm struggling.
I work in a role which is emotionally demanding, not the type of job where you can sink behind a screen and get through the day. It's demanding even when you're on an even keel.

Told my partner a week or so ago that I was considering going to GP because I was struggling with my grief and the thought of going to work was getting too much for me. He encouraged me to carry on and that work could be a distraction.

A week later, he goes out with friends, speaks to his friends wife who was bereaved a year or so ago. Tells me she took time away from work and that's what he thinks I should do too.

I'm just a bit put out. Why is he listening to her and not me? That's exactly what I said I thought I needed to do, but when I suggested it for myself he basically told me to keep ploughing on. When someone else suggests it, it's a good idea?

I don't know. I'm just really sad at the moment and I don't understand why he's valuing someone else's thought processes over mine when I'm the one going through it right now .

I'm probably being unreasonable but it just feels like he's dismissing my thoughts but listening to other people.

Sorry for your loss. I don't think he's done anything wrong. Sometimes it takes a minute and someone else's input to realise. He probably feels like a dick. He's agreeing now which is the main thing right? Hopefully he takes it as a lesson he dropped the ball a bit but I don't think he sounds like a bad one. Hope you feel better soon and get some much needed respite

Have you spoken to Cruse? They offer bereavement counselling.

Next time, do what feels right for you, not what he says.

Thank you x

I'm reacting to things a bit differently to how I would usually, I know this.
I think if he'd acknowledged that I said this in the first place I'd feel a bit better, but hes not really doing that. It's like it's new advice. Which is annoying. It's like I'd never said it.

Thank you. I'll look into it.

Just annoyed that my partner is kind of dismissing what I think is best for me, yet gives credence to someone else's thoughts that are exactly the same as mine. So confusing.

I think what's more worrying here is that you overruled your own feelings. You knew what was right for you.

I had a similar situation today, I spoke to my partner and he apologised - he didn’t realise how serious I was, it was purely lack of communication/misunderstanding and because I’m feeling very emotional I took it deeply to heart.
Share your thoughts and feelings with him, express how you felt he was dismissing your needs.

Yes, you're right. Although I don't know which way is up at the moment and just wanted some reassurance I was doing the right thing.
Just found it strange that it was the wrong thing when I suggested it but the right thing when it came from someone else.

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time too ❤️

I don't want to throw this term around, but I did feel a bit gaslit because it's like I hadn't thought of it or said it to him. Like it was new advice. Just feels weird.