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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Yell at my partner

1 reply

ThoughtfulBB · 08/09/2024 10:17

This will be a bit jumbled I'm afraid but I'm looking for some advice here.

The long and the short of it us that I have a habit of really yelling at my partner when under stress, and I don't want to do that. I really lose control and swear sometimes, even in front of our one-year-old. For context, I have ADHD, had a narcissist/controlling dad and some emotional challenges growing up, and I have trouble controlling my emotions in general.

I have done a lot of therapy and managed to get myself from terrible entanglements to a good relationship with a kind, dependable, lovely man who supports me and whom I love. The problem is that whenever I am under stress or sleep-deprived (which is often with our baby), I lash out at him. I make a case against him in my head and blame him. I really regret it afterwards and end up apologising profusely. He reassures me that we're still OK but that it's "just sad" that I act like this. I feel I am acting abusively and doing damage to our relationship.

So how do I stop behaving this way? Is the answer more therapy? If so, does anyone have experience with a particular approach that would work? I have already spent so much money on therapy and I have seen results but I always eventually slip back into yelling when I'm stressed.

I work full-time and we don't have any family near us, so I am going to have stress in my life and I want to deal with it better. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 08/09/2024 10:20

You clearly need to be back in therapy if you can't control yourself. If it was your husband yelling at you, Mumsnet would be telling you to LTB.

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