Second marriage for both of us, I have two daughters and my husband 1 son. The son has always been quite self absorbed and when DH had a serious health emergency 2 years ago (hospitalised for 10 days with pulmonary embolism) I was pretty appalled how little attention DS paid to him when he was in this life-threatening situation. DH has always done his best as a father- paid him an allowance when he was at uni and continued to do that after he started working. However DH is a gentle soul who has attracted people who take advantage of him in the past - I have usually been the person who has sorted these situations for him.
Last year DS contacted us to say he and his fiancee were in a terrible situation at their rented flat -neighbours upstairs having loud parties until 4am and threatening them if they complained. We said they could stay with us (we are lucky enough to have a fair bit of space) which would help them save a deposit to buy their own place.
DS explained they had a small dog. We said that was fine, but in our house guests' dogs stay in the kitchen where the washable floors are. They moved in with us, but moved the dog into their bedroom in his crate, saying it was just while he got used to the new house. We had a few issues - I had assumed they might eat with us most of the time, but they started getting takeaways and eating in their room. DS said fiancee was shy and not too easy with people.
However a crisis came after a couple of weeks when my husband found a small puddle of pee on our bedroom floor on the top floor. My younger daughter was staying with her dog at the time and she generously suggested her dog could have been responsible but it was unlikely as she had never been allowed upstairs at our place (and anyway, the puddle was definitely a SMALL dog puddle and the puddle happened when the big dog was out on a long walk).
The next morning I said that the situation could have been avoided if their dog had stayed downstairs as we had said at the start, and that from now on he should be in the kitchen. DS threw his toys out of the pram and said I never wanted them to stay and they would find somewhere else to stay within a couple of days. I said "That is your choice" and they did move out a couple of days later, but we have hardly heard from them since. DH sent DS a couple of hundred pounds for his birthday but got no response, not even a "thank you". I sent a Happy Birthday message via WhatsApp to DS, explaining I hadn't sent a card as we didn't know his address - no response. DS rang his Dad on his birthday and I sent a WhatsApp saying I was pleased he had got in touch. I don't think the fiancee is in touch with her mother or any other family members, so I am wondering if she is one of those people that likes to cut off their other half from everyone else in their life?
DH must be feeling hurt and upset about the situation but is not very assertive so hasn't taken any further action. He gets on very well with all my family (daughters, grandchildren, my siblings) and they all like him a lot.
My daughters feel I should just leave the situation and wait for DS to get in touch but I am worried for DH's emotional wellbeing. Should I do something? If so what?