Ex and his arranged marriage regrets.... *I replied*.. Did I do the right thing?

[jennifromtherock]

Some readers on here might remember how I posted a few months ago about an ex from several years ago who had been emailing me, regretful of the way he never "stood up for me" (against his parents and cultural pressures of an arranged marriage) and how I was the love of his live blah blah blah...
The emails were showing no signs of stopping (enough though I hadn't responded to anything by that point).

Anyway, 4 days ago I bit the bullet and just answered him. I had been drafting a reply for a while but only had the courage to send it this week. It was long (longer than a short novel I'd say).
I went into detail about all the chances I gave him to stand up for "us", how let down I'd felt by his refusal to just say no to his parents and their pressures to dump me.
I also wrote about the respect his wife deserves and how dishonourable it is for him to be declaring love to another woman (not just ANY other woman, but his ex girlfriend from years ago) behind her back. Especially when he has no intention of ever leaving his arranged marriage, despite claiming to be so miserable in it and regretful of it.

I shot down what he wrote to me about wishing for another chance and that he's already had all the chances he'd ever get with me. I told him to get real and stop living in some kind of fantasy world.

I told him that, to me, he is just as dishonourable as he was all those years ago... The fact that he treated me disrespectfully (in hiding me from his family like a shameful secret after they made him dump me the first time), then treats his now wife disrespectfully by emailing his ex behind her back.

I wished him well but said I'll have no part in his future, even if he were ever single, divorced or widowed. I said I hope he can find happiness, but that wouldn't be with me because I've moved on.

Did I do the right thing in replying to tell him how much he hurt me and betrayed me in favour of his parents/culture all those years ago? It felt cathartic to get it all off my chest but no idea how it would be interpreted by him.

If he doesn't reply how will you feel?

I think that the detail and length of reply tells him exactly how much you do think about it.

I'd feel at peace. I've made peace with the situation. I was always the stronger of us, the more resilient and practical one. He was always the dreamer. If there's no reply, I'd be ok because I always have been. I told him I'm not expecting any reply but if he needed any clarity on anything I wrote or wants to respond to any of the points then I don't mind.

I probably would have left out anything that revisited the past and only focused on the fact that he will never ever have a shot with you/you're not interested, and you find it disgusting that he is going behind his current wife's back, and don't ever contact again.

And have left it at that. I don't think it's a big deal that you did bring up how he treated you in the past, but I don't think it was really relevant. A simple, "bugger off cheating creep" might have sufficed, lol. And then hit the block button.

Block him now you have given this too much time and thought block him he has no place in your life

I wouldn’t have put all that effort in. A quick “fuck off and stop emailing women behind your wife’s back” would have been as much he’d get from me.

I get why writing it down felt cathartic, but I would have just burnt it when I’d got everything out.