Online Dating, any success 50 +

[Iveforgottenwhatitwas]

Hi so I rejoined a month ago on 3 apps and have had literally no interest , when I did last winter 🤷🏼‍♀️. So no clue what's changed.
Any tales of success would be greatly appreciated and do I really have to consider paying to open it up, see more folk and encounter only genuine chaps?
Thank you 🙏🏼

Can’t honestly say I’ve used any, but does it depend on what app you are using as to responses, having to pay doesn’t sound great

From hearing friends, I feel a lot of people on apps aren’t genuine, there is always another person to talk to. A lot of chat fatigue. With there now being the added having to pay for these apps I think you would be better off joining groups with interests you have.

This way at least the money isn’t wasted and you can meet people face to face and have a genuine human interaction.

Sadly don’t want to be ageist but found men want younger women and the older you get on apps it can be harder as so many are partnered wanting younger or just not great.

Sorry to be a downer there are of course people who have met amazing people on apps later in life but you have to have a thick skin for it. I’m not ready my friend told me she met 14 guys on dates before finding her one and I just don’t have it in me.

Just wanted to add if you want to go the app paid route maybe an actually dating service so at least that way the vast majority of cheaters, non serious or men who simply want an ego boost are likely to not go that route. It’s very easy to download an app and add a few pics.

What about the old skool way?

Oh I'd love the old school way.
But it's seriously hard at this age.
I've found a few like minded female friends in the same situation. I'm out and busy and plenty of opportunity to meet someone naturally but it just doesn't happen. If 1 more person says it'll happen when you least expect it . . . 😤
And honestly I'm not that desperate, but I do miss the simple couple stuff 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm 46 not 50 but I think unfortunately you have to be really persistent and its probably worth joining a dating site you pay for if you can be bothered. I think Tinder/Bumble etc are all pretty far off what they were 10yrs ago.

I wish I can say yes but as a mid 50’s women with plenty of attractive, solvent, intelligent, funny friends who are all single, not one of us has had any success with OLD.

The men our age group unfortunately seem a pretty dire bunch

I’ve tried it and do so in short bursts. Lots of dross for the most part. I’ve met 2 men in 12
months and see them both twice. Not for me. And just arranged to meet another. I have found it’s about timing. There are times when there’s a few that seem ok but for the most part 🤢

Have you had a significant birthday since you last went on an app? It's possible you may have moved out of some mens' window (ie they may put 39- 49, and you may now be 50).
But, you know....it is hard. Most people aren't for most people. I have been on dating apps on and off for 4-5 years and, although I can't say I've met many married men (as far as I know!!), dangerous characters, porn addicts or heard of men looking for much younger women, I have met many, many reasonably decent people with whom I'm just incompatible. I'd say in maybe 60% of cases there was a mutual lack of attraction, in 25% they liked me but I didn't like them, in 10% the situation was reversed, and in 5% of cases there was a mutual compatibility and attraction- but still most of these haven't proceeded to a long term relationship.

I've recently met someone- after all this time! But it's only been a couple of months, so early days still. I'm 50 by the way, and didn't personally notice an age drop off- but I know some friends have. I'd also refute the common perception that it's a numbers game and you should go on loads and loads of dates with people you're not sure about. You just end up wearing yourself out that way!! There's nothing wrong with dipping in and out and only having one first date every couple of months- you're probably in for a marathon rather than a sprint.

And as for the perception that it's easier or safer to meet someone in RL- absolute nonsense IME. Two of the worst, dodgiest men I've ever been out with have been ones I've met IRL. Mutual friends are going to sing the praises of someone who buys them the occasional pint down the pub and "seems like a nice guy" 🙄

Which apps are you using? Friend of mine is dating at 53 using hinge and she's had two so far - the one lasted a few months but he worked long hours so hadn't got time for a relationship really. She has been with the second for a few months and it's going well. Same age, lots in common.