Do I tell friend about her devil dog?

[Nomore45]

I am currently dog sitting for a very good friend. Since they dropped him at my home four days ago he has been an absolute nightmare! As a one year old intact male he has been relentlessly trying to hump my four year old female dog. When I remove my dog he barks relentlessly in a high pitch. The only peace I get is when I exercise him separately, but I can’t walk 24 hours a day!

I’ve had plenty of dogs to stay in my home and never had an issue. This dog is just unbiddable! I’ve had to apologise to my neighbours because his bark is so loud!

Question is, do I tell my friend how awful it has been when she gets back from holiday? And how do I tell her? I don’t want to lose a good friend and this seems like a potentially sensitive issue.

He’s only one though and you don’t know what he’s like at home, he’s away from his owners! I’d be jokey/ diplomatic about it, as in ‘ah he’s so cute but they definitely had their moments!’ and then never offer again/ be extremely busy forevermore!!

Honestly I would have messaged her while she's away to explain the issue and ask if there's anyone else who doesn't have dogs that could have him? It sounds like a complete nightmare if its as bad as you describe.

This - can you send him to a professional dog sitters and send her the bill? I think it was unreasonable of her to let her intact dog stay with your (spayed?) dog. Just say the neighbours are complaining and you had no choice, (they probably will in a minute).

You’re between a rock and a hard place.

Frankly, I’d tell her he was too hard to manage and with regret, you can’t do it again.

I looked after a friend’s dog who peed (stress?) everywhere on my new carpet. She never stopped, even after being taken out regularly. I told my friend I just couldn’t manage her dog so sorry, but never again.

It’s asking a lot of any householder/dog lover to take in someone else’s dog.
Kennels are the way to go.

Interestingly, she has grown up children that live nearby. I did wonder why she didn’t ask them to dog sit. Now I’m beginning to understand why!

I don’t want to ruin her holiday, one she has been waiting for all summer.

I think I will just say that I can’t have him in the future if he stays intact. Either that or I’ll be very busy/away when she asks again.

Oh! I feel this. He has been doing ‘anger pees’ all over my house. Cocking his leg on plant pots etc. even though the back door is open to the garden and he has just been walked.

I think it's worth contacting her relatives and asking if they'd have him - maybe ask your friend if it would be OK so it's not behind her back. You've been very tolerant about what sounds a nightmare. How long are they away? A week is a long time as a first try, especially if not been to your house before.
Has your girl been spayed? If not, to be fair, you were both courting trouble having an intact dog around her.

When is she due back?

I'd make it clear that you can't do it again, but from the pov of his happiness rather than him being a nightmare

"I don't think it'd be fair to have him again next time you go away. He was very keen on Mabel and I had to keep them separate because he kept humping her and I was worried she would lose her temper with him. He was then quite distressed that he couldn't get to her and was barking and marking indoors a lot which I know he doesn't normally do so I think he'd probably be more relaxed somewhere with no other dogs in future"

This is awful and really unfair on your own dog. She must feel utterly stressed at being subjected to this in her own space. Be careful it doesn’t have a lasting effect on her.

Honestly I would be putting him in kennels at my own expense at this point, once I’d asked if any of her children could take him for the rest of the time (I’m guessing it will be a very quick no!!) I would let her know that it’s for his own safety as at some point you are afraid your dog will go for him.

Don't ruin your friend's holiday but don't offer in the future. He's only young and I expect very anxious. I would tell her to get him neutered though.

Yes, I think it’s this that’s bothering me most. I’m having to put my own dog in another room, which feels like I’m punishing her for his behaviour! She’s so sociable too and asks for loads of cuddles. I don’t like her being isolated from the rest of the family.

This is so helpful! Thats exactly what I was planning on saying to her. Your suggested wordage is great.

I’d had him before when he was six months old with no issues at all. It seems like his hormones have kicked in big time since I had him last! And he’s not very discerning either. My neighbour came round with his male dog to ask if he could help and my lodger tried to roger him too!

An intact adolescent male with a female or indeed any other dog often doesn't work well
My ddog was just like this when he was that age pre neutering. Obsessed with humping anything that moved. Most kennels and boarders won't take intact males for this reason. I had to pay through the nose for a specialist place where he could be the only dog the first year. It's a major reason I got him done.

Did you not have some shorter visits to see how it would go before taking him on for a whole week? If she is abroad then I think you have to suck it up for this occasion and never ever offer again. She probably didn't know it would be as bad as this as much as you didn't.

I’d record him and when your friend returns show her.
Although I suspect she knew what would happen.

Your friend is a CF who would rather palm off her poorly trained dog on you than pay kennel fees. Or is banned from every kennel in the district.

Well it's obvious it's his hormones as you say and actually as a friend you should say if not gonna breed get him neutered all vets say that's right it stops this crap to and I makes for calm dogs . Neutering is the way forward. Just tell friend you can't look after dog again for the reasons uou say unless maybe gets neutered if a friend she should be grateful you looked after him in the first place. If she falls out then she's a twat

I have recorded him just on the off chance I would have to evidence how bad it has been. I honestly don’t think she’d ‘require’ evidence though. I think she’ll be incredibly embarrassed when I tell her. I want to be truthful without making her feel bad and throwing the friendship off kilter.

I’d maybe message her and ask if she has any advice on how to stop his barking. Say you know he doesn’t do it at home and you’re just wondering what she does to prevent it.
Failing that buy an anti bark collar which should stop him barking and crate him or lock him in another room and never have him again

<chirpy tone, smiling face> I've never had an intact teenager dog around before - however do you manage with him humping everything that moves and peeing on everything that doesn't? He's lovely, so alert and active, but my dog/the neighbour's dog/the cushions can't take that amount of teenage boy in their lives again! Oh yes, I'm sure he'll calm down as he gets older, especially when he's neutered, but at the moment he's on the go constantly!

OK, so you're lying about him being lovely, he's a priapic dickhead teenager mutt, but the rest of it is truthful and can be taken as a good natured 'I'm not doing this again'.

Sounds tough for you. Please do NOT take the suggestion above of putting an anti bark collar on someone else's dog. If a friend did this to my dog I would never speak to them again.

If you can't ride it out I would contact your friend's children and ask if they could have him, and then contact your friend to get her permission/present it as all sorted once you've done the leg work rather than stressing her out on her holiday.

When is she due back? If its anything beyond this weekend I'd be contacting her to say you're going to have to look at alternatives, I imagine your dog probably isn't too happy either?

I’d just wait until she comes back from holiday and then say he’s fit and well, but really not compatible with your dog or household for future stays.

‘priapic dickhead teenager mutt’! OMG! Love this line and your username! Thanks for giving this stressed out ol lady a laugh!